Angels on Earth

I may not be bad at writing, (damn, I just tooted my horn)  -- Sorry...   BUT I am not always that great with figuring out a title for my post.    But, today when  I was trying to figure out what to name this one, the above was the only thing that came to mind.

I have no other way to really explain how I felt about today's events.

I only started my current job a year and a 3 months ago.   It was by far the best decision I ever made for my life in the way of careers.
I will go far in this company - and I know in my heart of hearts that it was supposed to come about, for so many reasons.   There are so many perks but my favorite is probably the company itself, (as in management) and the co-workers I have.  They're all so wonderful - In every sense of the word.   I never saw people come together, like I have at this place.   When I've done my collections for the poor, whether it was for church, through my sister's job or through my own endeavors, everyone was a part of it. When we threw the fundraiser for my brother's cancer benefit??  Wow..
 It was amazing and heartwarming.  And so hard to find.  They never cease to amaze me, and not even today, even though I was floored.

When Mom was diagnosed and began treatment,  I still had some time off at work.  I hadn't used it all, but I started using it immediately, in January.   Between radiation, doctor appointments,lots of tests, her hospital stay & ultimately chemotherapy, I was prepared for it to be long road but also knew that I'd run out of time at some point. I still needed to be involved with Mom's care and I wasn't sure how I'd manage it.   So, this past Monday, I finally worked up the courage to approach my boss about it.  (also the VP of our division).    I explained my situation (as far as being out of time) - he is aware of the rest.    And I asked if I could continue to take some time off as needed... I offered to work remotely on the days I;'d be out or come in 2 hours early every day for the following week. (after I'd been off) -- - He said that working remotely wasn't an option as our system wasn't set up for such.   It's  too complex to explain but it made sense.   He said he wouldn't have a problem with me coming in early on some days but not to worry about coming in 2 hours early... I guess he thought that was a bit much.  So I was ok with that too.   When I left his office, i felt such relief... I was so happy that I could still "make it work"..   Thank God for such an understanding boss - I mean, really.   He didn't have to work with me on that but he did and I was so grateful.  Naturally, i wouldn't share with the rest of the office; no one really had to know. It wasn't their business to know and I didn't want to ruffle any feathers.    I felt that rules had been bent for me and I didn't want to seem as if I were bragging. 
I surely wasn't.

I only decided to tell one gal who is not in our immediate office area..   She is such a sweetheart & I wasn't worried about her telling others about my arrangement.  She works a lot with the guys in the field, so she is in work early!  Like 5 am early...  When I come in early, I have to use the entrance closest to her office, as the main employee entrance is locked until a little before 8.    I wanted her to know that I;d be coming in and I also kind of wanted her to be my check in, so that I have someone who can say that "yes, I was there early, as I agreed to be".     

Today, I was called to my boss's office -- he called my desk phone and asked me to come in.  When I got to his door, it was shut.  So, I opened it and there stood Marie.   A little flush in the face and wet eyes.    So I walked in and sat down.   My boss proceeded to tell me that Marie had offered to give me some of her vacation time to use, since I was out of time and so that I wouldn't have to make it up, if I did need to be out. I thought I could keep  together but  just couldn't!   I totally broke down - Apparently, she had done the same right before I got there.   It was the most generous thing I'd ever known a co-worker to do.   I was truly moved by her kindness and such a gesture of compassion.    I felt bad for my boss; he didn't have any tissues ( which he noted he should look into) and he said he didn't do well with crying.   I thought he was getting choked up by the looks of hs face.   I usually don't cry n front of anyone and yet, this just really warranted it.  I couldn't hold it back no matter what.    It was hard enough to speak through my sobbing but I didn't know what to say besides "Thank you" -- she cried with me and reached out to grab my hand..   I feel like I am so indebted to her and I know I need to do something nice for her to thank her - I know she didn't do it for recognition, but I am so compelled to do something for her selfless act.   My boss continued to say that I couldn't decline Marie's offer as it wasn't negotiable.  : )   She said she has several days left and really wants me to have some of them.

 I told her yesterday, that she was an angel in disguise, because she always knows when I need some uplifting and she always leaves me an article from the Delco Times, n my desk, from the writer of the Religion Column.   I don't know how, but she always happens to do it when I need it most.   Now I know that she is truly an angel on earth....   I think all of us should do such selfless things for others, be as charitable as she was to me, and just make a difference in some one's life...   Every time I thought about this today, I cried.    Tears of gratitude.   I couldn't even tell my husband without losing it again. So hard to tell a story while sobbing....

blog changes

** Just  a quick note **

Since I've been posting more regularly, I decided to go in and change some things today....   It's new and improved!
Well, maybe not all that, but I made some changes..

If you notice on the right, there is now the option to follow me by email - If you enter your email address, it will automatically send you alerts when I update!  Neato.

Then you can also, search my blog, by using the new SEARCH field, also on the right.  (I like that feature for others' blogs, for when I can't remember where I saw something or read about something) -- Most folks have the search option and it really helps when you're trying to find "that one post"....

You can also contact me!   - See the contact boxes

And, for my own sanity, I also now have all my 'labels' on the right side of my page.   Thank goodness I finally figured out how to do that one! 

So, that's the big unveiling - Hey! I didn't say it was that big of a deal... But change is good.

Good reads

You know how it is - You look something up on the internet and all of a sudden, you've got a plethora of websites and blogs and articles that resulted in your "keyword" search.   It can be a bad thing, if you're googling some crazy symptoms you're having. All of a sudden, you've self diagnosed with a hundred different conditions/diseases.  BUT, it's not always a bad thing; sometimes you find gems!

When Mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I was right on the computer, looking for information, naturally.  Regarding her particular diagnosis, type of breast cancer, treatments, all that jazz....

One of the best discoveries I made in my relentless searching, was this site....http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/    - Fantastic reading, I tell ya!   The author's name is Ann Siberman.   She is witty, charming, brutally honest, candid, humorous, BRAVE... my list could go on and on.    Ann journals about her battle with Stage IV, metastatic breast cancer and she does it with such pizazz.   If I can say that.  She's so cute, I love her style and her attitude about life and cancer -   I read her bucket list and learned some interesting info from that as well, that has changed my views on a thing or two.  Hmmph!

I wish my mom had a computer so that she could keep up with Ann's journey as well.   I think she could learn a thing or two from her; I sure feel like I have.    

So, if you get a chance, check it out -  You won't be disappointed, I promise. 


 

Torn

I'm having a thought storm today & I don't know where to start.   I go back and forth between wanting to post how I'm feeling about Mom's 'situation' and not wanting to overload my blog with the details, the ways I'm feeling, etc.   It's not because I don't want to share, but more because there is so much to say and I'm afraid once I get started, it might come off as excessive to my readers. 

I don't want to express certain things on Mom's CaringBridge page because I really feel that it is strictly a place for updates on Mom's treatment/health and more positive and encouraging words. Of course, not every journal entry on Mom's CaringBridge page will be positive.
   I didn't create it so that I could use it for my personal struggle with Mom having cancer.     But, ever since I moved into Blog Land, I have read more blogs than I can count & have felt a part of so many turning points in their lives.  Most were great, celebrating milestones & births, new jobs, new homes, adoptions!   - and some were not so good times.  
Loss of children, deaths of loved ones, divorces, - Basically, everything that we go through in life.    We can't omit those sad parts of our lives and often times we write about it to help us overcome the sadness & to reach out to those who we know may have experienced those same things.    I know I write.

So, if you'll bare with me, I'll still post about fun, happy things and share all the "good stuff" with you - But I may, at times, let it all out.     So, thanks in advance, and don't ever hold back from offering me some insight.   I will never reject it.   This is what life's all about.  

Thanks for being a part of my "life"  - Buckle up!

 

Sunday rain

I really think it's going to rain ALL day, but I'm going to be as productive as I can. I have laundry already folded and ready to go in drawers, the house is straightened up pretty well, and I'm waiting for my sister to get me so we can go for lunch.


We're trying out Red Robin for the first time. I'm kind of psyched about the bottomless fries; is that bad?
Even though it's dreary out, I'm sure we'll have a good lunch, chatting and catching up. I think she's going to drag me to some shopping as well. Help me! Nah, shouldn't be that bad - although I am the kind of person that has to shop alone.

I have so much more to catch you up on, but will have to get my thoughts together. Boy, do I have a lot!

Mother's Day was a great day - We took mom to Historic Smithville
The weather was SOOOO perfect! We shopped, had lunch, shopped more, rode the train & the carousel. Took pictures and bought lots of goodies. Yahoo to finding fresh Irish potatoes in May! Love them.... (cinnamon, sugar, coconut..) Oh dear.

I think Mom enjoyed herself - it was nice to have a day of no worrying, no Cancer talk and no dwelling.
Even though, she did bring it up when we were alone - and I did pretty well dodging the discussion. I asked her to just allow herself ONE day of not worrying and just enjoying life and just BEING. I know it's hard but it's important to allow yourself that break.

Strength & Courage

I always have such good intentions to update my blog with a new post. Trust me, there is ALWAYS something swirling around in this mind. Life is rarely uneventful and I always have something to share, even if it's just tidbits of the day at work or something funny that I can't resist sharing. But mostly, I've wanted to share how I've been feeling about mom's trek with this "whole cancer thing". And I want to share how she's been feeling about it.
It all has just been such a whirlwind from the day of diagnosis (both of them and the news of the metastasis), that I haven't found the time to get all my thoughts together. I have a care page that I created, for friends and some family, to keep up on the progress of Mom's care/chemotherapy, but I really don't post about "feelings" on there, where it comes to me. I feel that is a separate thing all it's own and not the place for me to talk about fear, anxiety, etc. But my next post on here will probably be lengthy, but not boring. It will be sad, and some parts will be jaw dropping... but please don't let that scare you away. Please check back... (maybe even tonight)

Easter '13

I've always loved the Easter holiday & I don't know what was different about it. It wasn't until I got older that I realized it wasn't all about candy and a big bunny with giant ears. It was about Jesus and a sacrifice He made for all of us and our sins and then it became about the resurrection. Those are some thought provoking events that I appreciate way more now, as an adult. I'm so overjoyed at the fact that my niece, who is also my Goddaughter, is finding such interest in her CCD class. She comes home and tells us things that they learned and she is so intrigued by it all. She told my mom yesterday "Before they hung Jesus on the cross, his friends weren't very nice to him - they said they weren't his friends and didn't protect him". How precious that she is understanding these things. I can only hope that her Faith journey doesn't end any time soon - like mine did, early on.


So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." Matthew 28:1-10


Easter also brings to mind, old memories of when my sisters and I were kids - Every year, we took a trip to Atlantic City with my parents, walked the boardwalk, took in all that was to enjoy and had early dinner at a restaurant called Pickles. We loved it. It was such great memories - Every year, frilly dresses and cute bonnets. Until 1989, when my mom had my brother, it was all girls. The 3 of us.. dressed to the nines every Easter. Then when my little brother cale along, he was in the little suits and vests. So sweet. I've posted a few pics for you to see.
You don't appreciate these memories until years later when they're just that.

Easter this year was great... we took mom to the in-laws with us for dinner and we had a nice time.
She even debuted her new wig... You can hardly tell it's not her real hair; it's that great.

Mom

I've been wanting to and promising to post the scoop on my mom, but things have been so hectic, between work, home and all that goes along with Mom's treatment, etc. I should start getting up in the middle of the night when things are calm and quiet; I could blog really well then. I created and am keeping up with a CaringBridge page that is chronicling Mom's journey with Cancer. I guess you could tell from the previous posts that it that awful C word that has now entered our lives a 2nd time. First, my brother was diagnosed last July and now Mom is fighting 2 cancers. Both are primaries, and one with metastasis to her hip/femur. I've included the link to the page here, so you can catch up on things.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bridgetcoyle

( I can't get live links to work in Blogger for some reason; you'll have to copy & paste)


There are several journal updates thus far, so click on the link just under the entry you see on READ JOURNAL HISTORY right after you read the latest one.
( I just ask, that if you know me outside of Blogger, and are friends with me on Facebook, that you not comment on this publicly to me) - I only ask because Mom is dealing with this privately, (to the extent that she can) :) and I haven't shared with everyone. I have family members on Facebook who are not aware of the situation, per Mom's request as well. I know it might seem a little odd, but I guess we all deal with it the way we see fit.

and that's who I am...

(if you're singing that song by Jessica Andrews now, we have good taste in music!)

I want to blog today and I have much to say but I figured I'd start with something fun. A bloggy friend of mine did a post a while back, introducing herself. I thought it was a clever and fun way to get to know someone! It was even donned with pictures! (which made it even more fun) - So I decided that I would do the same thing. Many of us read each others' blogs but don't know much else, and without getting too crazy and giving out too much information, we can still let each other in our lives a little more and see just who we are following. - On a coincidental note, I was at Shoprite today and saw someone from my list of blogs that I read. Well, it wasn't the author, but it was her husband and her precious boy who she blogs often about - It was so cute to actually see this little guy..

So, here we go - This is ME and the tidbits of my life.


Me and Mom - before the Johnny Maestro concert that I took her to - it was a SURPRISE. So cool..


Me and my sister; my best friend ever. Everyone says we look alike - I don't see it. HHAH!


Just for fun - A picture of my young self - many years ago as an innocent little girl. LOL


Me and Hubby - of course. On our weddin' day


Our furry kid - Miley

So, as for pics, I guess that about covers it. There are a million and one more that I could post but we'll see where I can fit those in future posts. More about me:

* I have no children. :( Not because I don't want them. I always wanted to be a mom. (future post)
* I went to school to have a position in the medical field but jobs/pay rate were scarce and I didn't find one.
* I landed a GREAT job with a mechanical construction firm in Philly and I love it.
* I always said I'd never work in Philly.
* My husband and I have been together about 12 years now. Married for 3 (in April)
* Our anniversary is April 10th and my birthday is April 19th. I tried to make it easy on him for remembering.
* The above theory has not panned out successfully - YET.
* We bought our house in August '09. Only months b4 getting married. Planning a wedding and buying a house? Stress!
* He proposed on Friday the 13th in 2009. It was totally unexpected after all that time.
* Hubby is 8 years older than me but we are an awesome match.
* He is a welder. He loves his field of work.
* I go to church every Sunday and read lots of books on religion.
* I am usually reading more than one book at a time - One at work, one at home. Sometimes 2 at home.
* As you can see from above, I am not much of a TV nut.
* I have 2 sisters and a brother. Older sister, younger sister, younger brother. I am the middle child. Or one of.
* I don't like the feel of newspaper on my hand so I no longer read them - only online.
* I don't like uneven numbers.
* Or wet dog nose on my arms. Anywhere else is ok. I'm a strange one!
* My favorite dinner is chicken parmigiana
* My favorite restaurant is Olive Garden
* I can't list a favorite singer because it's hard to narrow down.
* I love to sing - I once sang the national anthem at our high school football game.
* I have tiny hands - My husband loves that I didn't need a big ring! HAHA
* The one thing I hate about my body is my weight. Bleh. I need to lose 40 lbs.
* I am currently drinking Magner's Pear Cider out a zebra wine glass.
-- and that concludes our session of getting to know you --

I know I could think of a hundred other things, but that should keep you busy.

Believing; a book review

Each year, I make a small list of books I would like to read. I usually find the titles on the NY Times best seller list but not all the time. This particular book, I've had written down for a little over a year, and I finally went to the library and borrowed it.
Boy, am I glad that I did. What a truly beautiful testimony of God and Heaven's existence. If you needed some affirmation in your life, I sincerely hope you'll pick this up and give it a read. Amazing, true story of a 4 year old who nearly died and recants his experience with Jesus and his visit to Heaven, much to his parents' surprise and utter shock.
I actually shared some of the more confounding parts of this book with my husband, as I read through them. He was very intrigued and at the end of it, I really discussed the book and how I felt about it. All through my tears! I don't know why I cried but I had such a sense of belief and a feeling of encouragement. I really need this, right now, in my life. I was so struck with the testimony of this little boy's journey to Heaven and back. I feel such a peace within, today. Definitely check it out, if you're looking for a new book to read or just need a little uplifting.

what's your sacrifice?

I know that Lent doesn't apply to all my blog friends but if you're a practicing Catholic, you've probably contemplated what you're "giving up" for 40 days. Or maybe you're still not sure! I asked my sister yesterday, what she was giving up for Lent and she said "NOTHING"... I gasped out loud and said "You're not willing to sacrifice anything? After what Jesus gave up for you??" - She chuckled and responded "No, I'm sorry, Sister Dawn". I have many things that I should learn to live without, even if just for 40 days. Last year, a friend of mine gave up Facebook for Lent. I could do that. Or could I? I chose to give up soda this time around. It doesn't seem like much but it is for me. - and hey, maybe I'll lose a few pounds! I could've given up foul language but not sure I could've done that either.. My life is pretty stressful right now. I know that is a lame excuse, but anyhoo --- We'll see how I fare with this for the next 40 days. It really shouldn't be so hard to sacrifice things that we think we can't live without - for only 40 days! Think about what Jesus gave up for us!

updates on Mom

It will be a fairly long post, but I want to share with you, what has been going on since the beginning. It sucks. That pretty much sums it up - but we're going to deal with it the best we can. I promise to post at length when I get a few minutes of down time. Between work, home and hospital runs every day, it's hard to find those few minutes.

Reflections

I have a feeling I used that post title once before, but that's ok, it was probably so long ago, that you forgot, right? Sure.

I just wanted to share a little story that was a recent event.

I was reading a book the other night, (pictured in this post) ... and in one of the chapters, it mentioned 'atheists'. The first line of the chapter read "No one talks more about God than Atheists". I thought that was funny, and yet, probably such an accurate statement. In reading on, the author told of former atheists who have since found God and even went on to write books based on their change of heart and/or experiences that encouraged that change. I'm very interested in reading some of those books. Especially that of Dr. Diane Komp, a pediatric oncologist, whose book is called "Images of Grace". She had a change of heart, after hearing stories from her young patients who'd claimed to have met God or had some experience with Him. I was so moved by this one chapter in the book I was reading, I took lots of notes and am already browsing my library's catalog to get my hands on those books. I took the next few lines from a blogger who'd outlined some or Dr. Komp's book: In the early years of her practice, Dr. Diane Komp reported to the bedside of dying children out of duty. But one day the scene that followed changed her life. Just before seven-year-old Anna died, she mustered the strength to sit up in bed and cry: “The angels–they’re so beautiful! Mommy, can you see them? Do you hear their singing? I’ve never heard such beautiful singing!” Then she lay back on her pillow and died, reports Komp in her book Images of Grace (Zondervan)

I think, often times, no matter how devout we think/claim we are, we still have moments of doubt or need further validation. I know I do. And it's not because I question if God exists, I just have moments where I have a hunger to know more and have more validity. That's why I've been reading this book "To know, To Love and to Serve God"... and I'm also completing the study pages with it. I always want to know more.

Now, here's the even better part. The day after I read that chapter in the book and was so intrigued.... I received a phone call at work from a good friend of mine. She wanted to share with me, a story from her bible study, which also was the night I was reading my book. She said there were 2 guest speakers at bible study, who were sharing with the group, their experiences with God 'speaking' to them or guiding them. She said that some of the stories were so amazing they'd make your hair stand on end. She shared with me, a story that really stuck with her, and sure enough, I had goosebumps!

I think what really moved me about this whole incident, was that I had been reading about it the night before and was so pulled in, and then the very next day, she's on the phone telling me this! Is that awesome or what? I really can't wait to read on.

Brother updates

Starting his new year off great! My brother's follow up with the oncologist was 2 weeks ago and I'm so happy to report that he got the all clear to return to work and his chest xray was great. He does need a CT scan, that he should've had already, but when he goes back in April for his 6 month follow up, he'll have that report for the doctor. I know everything will be fine.. I'm an optimist and God is good. Thank goodness that things went the way they did. I try not to think about the alternative & what if my brother had never gone to the doctor and ignored the lump that he'd found. Scary. But, it didn't go that way, thank God. Here's to good health!

Waiting = Torture (pretty much always)

I can't think of anything in life that involves waiting, that is actually ever a fun thing. It's pure torture, it seems. Last Friday, I took my mom for a double biopsy (both breasts).. and we are now waiting for the results of those specimens. She had a diagnostic mammogram & ultrasound the day after Christmas, because she'd had a breast lump for couple of years (insert gasps here!) and her GP wanted her to get it checked out. He was very concerned about it and (according to my sister), was almost convinced that it was cancer. She had a lesion that was worrisome to her doctor. In fact, he wanted it checked out THAT DAY at the hospital, but my mom is very stubborn. So, the day she'd had the diagnostic mammo, the doctor at the imaging center decided she should have a biopsy on the lump and also on the other breast because he'd seen some calcifications on that one as well. So, now we wait for the report. We can only hope that it's something entirely different...and not the worst scenario. If you're reading this and can offer a prayer, I'd be very grateful. A prayer for good news & of course, for courage if it's not. Each time I've prayed at night about this, I've said to God "If it's your will". Each time, my mom sends me a text or calls, I shudder. I'm almost afraid to answer - But I remain optimistic as always.

Christmas Memories

Of course, it was the same as always. All that cramming, last minute shopping, money spent, food cooked, rooms decorated and it's all over in one day. Well, not the reason for the season, obviously. But the Christmas gathering, at least. It is definitely my favorite thing about Christmas. Or one of them. I really love the idea that we celebrate Jesus in such volumes and that even those people who don't go all year, will show up at mass.

Although, this year, I was not appreciating it so much, because we were forced to stand the entire MASS. It was standing room only.

I guess it wasn't so bad because we were doing it for none other than God - but it stil was hell to stand for an hour in heels.

My other favorite about Christmas and it is more valuable than any one material gift: having all my family in one room. I love to celebrate with them even if it's only one day a year. Life being ever busy and the fact that we're somewhat dysfunctional keeps everyone from getting together more often. But this year, Christmas was full of laughs and good times. Memories are made and stored in my heart forever. There are some things that could've been better about it, like the fact that my sister and niece were missing from our little get together. : (

One day, I hope things are different but I fear that it may be too late by the time everyone gets their acts together. I continue to pray for peace in my family and lots of forgiveness.. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

great balls of ........ Testicular cancer

Yes, I know; my choice of attention grabbing title is a bit un-lady like? Well, it was the first quirky thought that came to mind and so I went with it. I know, I already touched on it in a previous post but I wanted to mention it in its own post. When my brother was diagnosed with testicular cancer back in July, I knew nothing about it. I can honestly tell you that, if I were a guy and felt a lump in my 'area', I would have immediately thought it was a hernia. After all, that seems to be what we always knew of those sorts of things. Men/boys often times had hernias there. Hence, the reason they do sports physicals etc.. and they examine men/boys for it. Well, after I found out that my 22 year old brother was now afflicted with it, I did what everyone else does - that they shouldn't. I started surfing the internet for any information I could find. What were the statistics? What were the fertility stats? What if it has spread? Was it aggressive? Man, oh man, were there a lot of stories. Blogs, articles, stories of survivors. I even came upon one blog on a young man, who had felt the lump but had brushed it off. Only to finally address it, once it had already spread far beyond what would have maybe saved his life. SO sad.

I can only hope that young men or men of ANY age, will not let these things slide. Ever.

My brother had his lump for a little over 2 weeks (although if you ask him to be honest, he'll tell you it was longer). Even the doctor knew that it had some good time to grow to the size it was. My brother had been going to the gym and probably thought he pulled something. Just like I figured he had. I dread to think that he could've let it go even longer and it wouldn't have been as good an outcome as it was. It was caught early, and though there had been some vascular invasion, it wasn't all out alarming. The vascular invasion is what really gave the doctors the knowledge to suggest that they start chemotherapy treatments. Vascular invasion means that the cancer is entering the veinous system and therefore is apt to enter the heart, where it will then be pumped out into the rest of the body and surrounding organs. Kind of weird - The heart almost serves as this huge pumping station. I hadn't thought of it like that.

It's the same with anything. Don't let suspicious things/lumps go unseen by a doctor. You know your body better than ANY one.

You know when changes have come about and when something doesn't seem right.

I'm so glad that my brother got that nudge from his guardian angel and called my sister, albeit nonchalantly, to say "hey, I have this lump...."

I will never forget that text I got from my sister telling me it was cancer.

It was a moment forever etched in my mind but thank God for early detection and that he hadn't let it go. SO many people do that and I can't say that I might'nt if it were me. We always fear the worst; I know. Know your body and always get things checked. Better safe than sorry.

What I would also like to note is that boys who are born with an undescended testicle, if left untreated, they are at a higher risk for developing testicular cancer.

My brother was, in fact, born with an undescended testicle. Ladies, if you have a boy, who also has this, stay connected with your pediatrician and ask them what you can do about it.

*** I posted this because I wanted to offer some encouraging words, support, and hope that maybe it will aid someone in getting the courage to go get that "lump" checked out. *** In the event that someone has been or is afraid of being diagnosed, I hope to help them in their journey with it. If you jump on the computer today to search for some answers, or information, you may just land on my blog. Not that it's very informative, as in a doctor's perspective, but we've been there***

Reflections of 2012

Thinking a lot today about the new year being almost upon us and how 2012 has been so crazy. It's been a year that tested EVERY thing. My marriage, my friendships, my patience, my Faith, family ties... and somehow I'm ok. There are still many things that are left unresolved and worries that are still at the top of my list, but I have found strength in so much of the trials. Certain events, whether positive or negative, have a way of molding us, don't they?

** Started this on my brother's birthday ** 11/30

I often wondered if, by some chance, my brother broke a mirror when he was born. Maybe the doctor who delivered him, placed him down on one of those tiny mirrors on the table and SPLAT, he cracked it. Bad luck right away. Or maybe he, at a young age, walked under the ladder at the playground. That's also a superstition right? Whatever the rhyme or reason, the kid has had quite an eventful life thus far. All 23 years. I can remember when he was a baby, he swallowed a penny. That warranted a frantic mom rushing him to the hospital, only to be told what every other mom has been told in this situation. "It'll come out - you just have to keep an eye out for it". What? And so the next few weeks were met with my mom sifting through baby poop! The penny did turn up. Now I should wonder if maybe he swallowed it on tails, because that seems to be where it all started. After that, it was chaos.

One year, when he was around 4 or so, we were standing in a Burger King, on the Atlantic City boardwalk, waiting for my parents to meet us after the casino. I was holding my brother's hand and there he went! Smack down on the wet floor, right on his cute little face. Nose bleed central - Too much blood for such a tiny nose. So, an ambulance is called & off to AC Medical Center, we went. This Easter trip ended with a cauterization for his little button nose.

When he was about 6, he went fishing with my dad to a local spot in town and it was there that he was attacked by bees! Holy hell. Yes - a lot of them. Off to the hospital, where he was filled with lots of Benadryl or maybe epinephrin. I can't imagine what that felt like for a little boy, but I cried when I saw him in the hospital bed. Never liked him being in pain. What a crazy thing to happen.

He got a little bit of a break for a while, with the exception of some bumps and bruises through the next few years or so.

Then in 2004, when he was 14, I got the call I almost always knew was coming. My brother was hit by a car and was enroute to the hospital. I was never so scared in my life! I was driving to the ER from work and I said more Hail Marys that day, than I can count, I was praying for him to be ok. When I got there, my family was all standing in a room off the Trauma ER and when they wheeled my brother by us for emergency surgery, unconscious and restrained with head gear etc, I thought my whole life had just flashed past me. I truly believed I would never fully recover if we lost him. It was a hellish next few weeks and month. He was in pediatric ICU for almost 2 weeks, some of which he was in a medically induced coma. Then he was in a regular step down room where he was finally coherent and starting to come around. I was so afraid of brain damage. I guess if we could have him back at all, we'd take him however we could. But he was ok mentally. He even teased my mom at one point and asked "Who are you?". I thought my mom would pass out right then and there. So many times during this initial stay, that I thought we'd lose him but I was strong. I broke down twice in that time and I lost a few pounds from not eating. I hated it that things were constantly coming up. Fevers, infection,etc. I was not going to accept the possibility of losing my 14 year old brother.. not then and not any time soon after. He went from the hospital to a pediatric rehab facility where I absolutely HATED leaving him each day. It wasn't as hard when he was at the hospital and unaware of us coming and going. It was heart breaking when he was awake and alert and we left him at night. If I could've stayed with him, I gladly woudl have. In time we brought him home, with a new set of wheels (4 to be exact) a walker, and a big rod in his leg. It was the external kind so it was cool to him. And he even insisted on keeping it uncovered when we went to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party. I told him it'd probably scare the poor kids but he didn't care. So, we went in there, sans a blanket to cover it, and yes, the kids were curious. That was a really rough time for him - and this was probably when I realized how strong a person he was going to be. I couldn't have known......

Keeping up with tradition and needing to add more to his list of unfortunate events, he, during this past summer, decided to go hiking with his girlfriend. He ended up with a tick on his back, of course, and pulled it off. Never to be seen again. Then a week or so later, he ended up in the ER, because he went to an urgent care center after a big red rash developed. Doctor confirmed it was Lyme's Disease, gave him a 3 week antibiotic regimen and went on his way.

And..... just because he likes to be the center of attention and keep us all on our toes --- (heehee) In July, right before the 4th, my brother decided to give my nurse sister a call about a lump he'd had in one of his testicles. I guess he was a little concerned about it and realized he should get it checked. I talked to him on the phone the day before his appt and asked about it. I knew he'd been working out at the gym so I was convinced it was a hernia. I knew it was very likely and very possible... I never thought OTHERWISE. Why would I? Well, the next day, my sister took him to the hospital and they ran some tests. I kept in touch with my sister and brother via text while they were there. I drove home from work, figuring that they'd be home soon. My sister seemed to be very concerned as time went on, and finally texted me "please come". Again, I was just oblivious and figured she wanted company or wanted to go home to my niece. So, I texted her again and said "What are they saying?"... she texted me one word back "cancer". I immediately started crying and hyperventilating all at the same time - that'd never happened to me before. I felt like I left my body for a minute. I can't really even explain it. So, without hesitation, my husband and I drove up to the hospital. My brother had called me prior to our leaving, and it was so hard for me to remain collected - He said "So, did Tammy tell you?"... in a voice that echoed no worry whatsoever. When we arrived at the hospital, my brother was sitting up in a bed in the ER pediatric ward and he seemed as if he was fine. No worry- some jokes here and there. I was panic stricken - but would never show it. I'm the one who jokes and remains calm so not to shake everyone else up. It was confirmed that he had testicular cancer and would have the teste and tumor removed on July 5th. - Everything went well, the tumor was removed and he had one of the best post-op recoveries I'd ever seen. He was awake and alert and ready to go home. The nurse even said he was very unique in that he came right out of his anastesia like he'd taken a cat nap. He followed up with the surgeon a few days later and then it was decided that he would have chemotherapy since he'd had what they called vascular invasion. The cancer hadn't spread to other parts of his body, luckily, but there was a little bit of concern with it and the oncologist said that without chemo, there was a better chance of it coming back. So my brother went ahead with the chemotherapy and he was a real champ through it all. Never really complaining and taking it with a grain of salt. As far as I know. : ) He's all clear for now and goes back to the oncologist in January, when he'll tell him if he's really all clear and ready to return to work. Thank God that my brother is young and active and has a strong body as well as a strong mind. I think it helped to get him through the torture of chemotherapy. Fingers crossed and plenty of prayers that January brings about great news and the consent to return to work. I know he must be bored out of his mind.

So how 'bout that? Has this kid been through some stuff or what?? He should write a book. Someone had joked and said he has 9 lives like a cat. Funny to think about but I really just have to be so THANKFUL. Nothing is ever a guarantee in this life and we were so blessed so many times that my brother came up a victor.

Life happens...

ever so quickly. There's no pause button, to allow us to savor certain moments. There's no fast forward button to get past the pain and hurt of things or to advance to the good things that are waiting for us. There's no rewind button to take us back to a point in time that we wish to do something over, or differently. It just happens - and we deal with it as it does. The old saying was that there were no do overs in life. I believe that to a degree. I also believe in some instances, we do get those chances to take a different path. It doesn't always happen, but how great are those times that we can. Life, this year, so far has been anything BUT uneventful. Where do I even start? In the beginning of the year, my husband almost lost his father. It was a simple, outpatient procedure that millions of people have done every day and yet there was a "glitch" with his. Or a mistake? Who really knows. In any case, he spent several weeks in the hospital and at times we were almost readying for his passing. Of course, when these things happen, you want to be optimistic and hope for the best, but you also reach a point where you say, "Ok, we can't live in denial, we need to start accepting it". But, lo and behold, through the bond of family and the prayers of many, AND the Lord above, he came home to us. A little rusty at first but things are back to normal, for the most part. : ) SO thankful that God didn't decide He needed him more than WE do. ........ To be continued.....

Fancy Catch Up

What a slacker, indeed! I haven't updated my blog since April? Seriously, Dawn. That is way unacceptable. It's not due to a lack of content that I have been missing in action, but rather all the events that have been keeping me busy. I can't even update in one blog post. I know you'd be fast asleep by the time you finished reading and your hand would surely fall asleep from all the endless scrolling down. I will just say that I'm back and I promise to keep an updated blog from now on. It's not only good to share with the rest of the world what's happening in my life, but it's also an outlet for me. Not that it'll restore my sanity at all, but it sure helps.

April showers....

Hoping they bring May flowers! I've got to get to the store this weekend and get the mulch. It was just on sale at Home Depot or Lowe's for $1.74 per bag and I passed it up. Darn! Now it's 4 for $10, which still isn't so bad but I'd sure have liked to get it at the latter price. All of our flowers in the back garden are coming up beautifully including the rose bush. That's probably my favorite of all. The front garden looks great too but it needs mulch badly. We're also working on painting the exterior of the house. Our front of the house is brick but the sides and back of it are white siding and it's really gotten shabby. We've only been here a couple of years, well, almost 3 years now and it's needed a paint job ever since we moved in. Just a touch up, I guess. There's a lot of spots that have faded or have taken on a lovely shade of light green in spots, from the trees and pollen. I have lots of plans for the house now that the weather's getting warmer. I really need to get one full day of cleaning in. Spring cleaning! I guess that's why they call it that. I need to open the windows, turn up the stereo and get down to cleaning, scrubbing, and de-cluttering! Even just looking around the room right now, I see a dozen things that I can toss in the garbage. Things I haven't used or looked at in the past year or two. I just have a problem getting rid of stuff. Trust me, I'm not a hoarder. I could surely have a yard sale with all of the stuff I have here but the last one was a complete flop. I think I made about $5 all day. What a wasted Saturday that was. In other news, I just turned 36 yesterday. Whoa! Almost to the 40 year mark. Let's not rush it though. I also started a new job in early February and I love it. It's a great place to work, with great co-workers. Even management is pretty awesome. Sometimes I think it's too good to be true but I guess not. It seems everyone likes it there. I guess this is where I'll be retiring from. I was so glad to get out of my last job. Too many things were going on, what with pay cuts, etc.. changing my hours. This new job I happened to hear about from a friend and of course I was a little nervous at first to take the chance but then I said what the heck and I just went for it. The interview went so well.. I was interviewed by the VP and then the President also came in, because the VP wanted me to meet him as well. And they were both so down to earth and didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. I was so at ease. I had to wait a couple of weeks to hear back, because there were others who were being interviewed and when I got the offer letter in my email I was so excited! It was more money, better hours, no more Sundays, .... a closer commute each day. I was thrilled. It's only been a couple of months so far so I haven't hit my 90 days, but hopefully I pass my probationary period and they keep me! : )

Hi there

Haven't been blogging since September? Cheese and rice. I can't believe I've been out of the loop that long, but I have been keeping up with my blog READING. Everyone else is doing a great job keeping up with their posts, unlike me. I wish I could say I've been extremely busy but I can't really account for anything crazy. I've been working and we've been doing things around the house. We're almost finished the basement, which is now a family room. We've got the bar all finished, bought a new TV, took the recliner down there and now are contemplating carpeting it. We really need a sofa or a futon down there so hopefully we come across something that someone's getting rid of. Our next door neighbor is moving in with her long time companion and just put her house up for sale. I wonder if it'd be too bold if I asked her to let us know if she wants to get rid of any furniture. I can't imagine that she wants to take her sofa, chairs et.. since she's moving to a furnished home. Guess it couldn't hurt to ask. But I won't.
In other news, Christmas came and went quickly. It was a great holiday season, we spent it with family and friends and I'm so grateful for all of that time together. I don't care about gifts or material things; my number one GIFT was all of the family getting together and making new memories. Both sets of parents haven't been in the best of health lately so it was a true blessing that we were afforded another year with everyone. I have some other things I want to "talk" about but I shall wait until I feel comfortable doing so. Never know who's "watching".. and I don't want to set off any alarms.

So much

* I turned on Eat, Pray, Love so that I could watch a movie since my shows aren't on tonight. Maybe it's in observance of 9/11? Whatever the case, it's very hard to blog and watch TV. I can't focus on the TV whilst I'm unloading all the thoughts in this head of mine. So much has happened and I've done so much since I last blogged. Nothing major so don't get crazy excited; I'm so not that interesting.

Somethings I've done recently:

Started couponing like crazy. In fact, I'm highly obsessed, I think. I sit down each weekend with the circulars and my coupons and clip like it's my job! It's so awesome though. I went to CVS last week & spent $6 and change on a handful of stuff that originally rung up at $13 and change. What a bargain! Also, if you don't know, you can scan your CVS card each week for a free item. Usually I get pantyliners or something silly but this Sunday, I got a box of Nabisco Crackerfuls! That was a nice treat. I haven't tried them but hey, I will now. So today, I "bought" a Febreze Set n Refresh air freshener and a bottle of Dawn dish soap with the Olay moisturizer in it, throw in my FREE crackers and with my soap coupon and Febreze coupon, my total came to $2.79 ~ I was so pleased. My husband laughs at me but he just doesn't get it like we women do. ; )

I read the Jaycee Dugard book in about 2 days. I expected it to be very good and it was. I found myself crying at some parts and at the end, I had a good bawl. What a life that poor girl/woman endured. I only pray that she has gained strength from it and the rest of her life will be all she has ever wanted. If you haven't read it and plan to, definitely grab it. I checked it out of my local library.. in fact I was on a waiting list for it. It was one of those books that you "can't put down". While I was at the library, I also bought a book for a quarter off one of their MANY shelves. Which book? Pride & Prejudice. Yes! I have never read it and I really want to. I'll start it in a day or two - I have 2 books already going so it's hard to keep up with the stories.

We recently found out from our corporate office that our company - EVERY EMPLOYEE - is receiving a wage decrease. Wage decrease sounds less painful than PAY CUT. A ten percent pay cut - OUCH! So I've been dealing with that a little and wondering how much it will affect my finances. I'm losing about $3,000 per year I think. I know I can really tighten up and hope that things work out that way. I'm already pretty frugal but I'm pretty sure there is always room for improvement. It was a blow to everyone; no one knew it was coming. They're also talking about some structural changes that will be implemented by the end of the month. That's scary because I assume that means that people will have to be let go. Very sad but if the revenue is not there, what can they do? I'm trying to stay positive and trust that God has a plan. He always does.

I had a yard sale yesterday and made ZILCH - Ok I'm lying.. I made just under $10 and my mother in law made over a hundred. Boo! I was happy for her ~ She had a lot of nice things and I know she's glad that she doesn't have to lug it all back in the house now. Whatever was left went to Good Will.

I did my annual summer stunt and cut my hair off. Well I went to have it cut; I went really short and then regretted it. It grows back so I don't fret about it much. I just couldn't stand the hair on my neck in the hot weather and it sticking to me and then I got sick of pony tails! I got into the mood that I was too old for pony tails anymore. Are we ever? Silly theory, I know.

My niece/god daughter started kindergarten last week and that was a great day. A little emotional naturally but I didn't cry! She loves school and was so afraid that we'd missed the bus. When my sister said she'd drive her to school, my niece was beside herself. She loves taking the school bus. I never rode the school bus. We lived across the street from our elementary school, so we never needed to be bussed. She was thrilled with kindergarten and is elated that they have gym class!

I went and saw the movie, The Help. Oh my goodness was it ever a great movie!?
I wanted to read the book first but ended up at the theatre before the libary for once.. It was fantastic and it made me cry SEVERAL times and I recommend it to anyone. It better get some awards because it totally deserves them. I should see some best actress/best supporting actress/best picture etc..

We had our last BBQ of the summer on Labor Day weekend and even though it was last minute, it turned out wonderfully! We didn't invite everyone we knew but had our parents over and my sister/niece... It was small but we all had a great time, talking, eating and sitting by the fire later on.


I bought a starter cross stitch kit and I just can not get the hang of it. So I opted to try my hand at latch hook. I haven't done one in MANY MANY years but I got the hang of it again and I'm really moving along with it! It keeps my occupied sometimes and is a great stress reliever. I remember years ago I did a latch hook that was a bubble gum machine. Loved it. Now I'm going to scour the internet to find a picture of it. There has to be one.

I know I'm forgetting a ton of things but I will just come back and add it/them.
I believe it just started thundering so I better get to shuttin' all the windows!
It was so nice to have the house open today and the breeze coming through.

Friday = Love

Even though my weekend usually starts on Thursdays, it actually started on Wednesday this week. I decided to take a vacation day, totally spontaneous, and spend the day with my sister and niece. Our power went out in the early morning Wednesday so I ended up having to sit home and wait for the power company to come and restore it. When they got here, they concluded that the transformer was hit by lightning, so they temporarily were running our power off of another one and then 2 other guys came to replace the bad one. It was a while before all was well. I couldn't leave the house so my sister brought over some yummy lunch and once the power was back on, around 1 o'clock, we went bowling. My niece loves bowling! It's so cute to watch her - and she has her own bowling bag & ball that I picked up at a yard sale. It was perfect for her - a cute Tweety Bird bag with a 6 lb ball. She really likes it. One day I'll get her her very own but for now this one works. My sister and I didn't bowl; we'd rather watch and cheer her on. Now that school's getting ready to go back in, I'll have to arrange a sleepover with my niece for our last hoorah of the summer. I used to dread the back to school days. I always knew when Labor Day started to creep up, that we were getting close to having to go back. Summer was always too short, even when I was a young child. Nothing has changed; the summer flew by again this year. I wish I could say there was a time when I looked forward to going back to school but I honestly can't. Now, when I went to college, I loved it. Totally different world. I always looked forward to that. I was up early again today, got out to pay on our furniture bill, went to the library to borrow a book (the 17 Day Diet)... we'll see how that goes, and I even made it to the store to get laundry detergent, did one load of laundry and cleaned and dusted the house. Pretty productive day! Since yesterday was almost a bust.. but turned out great.

Summer's been busy

When was the last time I blogged? A month ago? How boring am I? I love checking in on what everyone's been up to and I get bummed out when someone hasn't updated in a while, so I don't know why I've been away for so long. Life's been busy with work and enjoying the summer, I guess. Although I haven't been to the beach/boardwalk, or really anywhere else yet & it's almost August! We had our annual 4th of July BBQ and that was a blast - I love entertaining and hosting parties.

Let's see.... Oh and I did get a new car, so that was fun. : ) I really needed a new vehicle because mine was not the safest, best running one around. I was going to need tires and struts and my seat belt was broken.. by the time I forked over all the money for the repairs, it just made more sense to get a new car. Luckily, somehow, my payments only went up about $20.. definitely not something I expected.

I can't believe it's almost August already. The summers sure do fly by, don't they?
We're definitely planning to get down to the shore one of these weekends and now that I have a reliable car, we're even more anxious to go. My husband has a Titan, and that guzzles a lot of gas, so we don't take that on long hauls if we can help it. Now I have the gas friendly, family car. I love it.

I'm still trying to figure out why I've been up since 6 a.m. on my day off - especially since I don't really sleep at night - I never get a full night's sleep and yet this morning I was up at 6 and never went back to sleep. That only means that I'l be ready for bed around 10 tonight.

My mom and I went to bingo last night - We've been trying to go every other week. It can get kind of boring after a while but she really enjoys it, so I don't mind.
We have a lot of laughs, so that makes it worth it,

Have lots I want to blog about but I'll do it later so I'm not doubling up on posts.

Summer time is here!

Holy hot! Has it been a scorcher here, lately. BUT, I would take the heat over that awful "white stuff" any day. I don't like winter at all, so I'm not complaining about the heat; trust me. We've stayed busy doing our summer projects around the house, readying our yard for the 4th of July and such. Last year, we had a pretty big BBQ and invited way too many people. It was a lot of work and a lot of money, so we opted to just invite family this year. Of course, my husband MAY have invited 2 friends and their families as well. Does that not put us right back at square one? : ) It's ok though. At least this year, I took off on that Sunday before the actual holiday. Last year, I worked that day AND came home to cook all the food on the grill. Most of our guests were here already.. so it made for a pretty stressful day for me and I hardly got to socialize with anyone. How bad is that for a hostess? At least, with already having off from work, I will have the whole day to do things and get ready. I love entertaining but I try to do it as stress free as possible.. and I know that's not always possible. My husband's been working really hard taking care of our yard and all of the outside projects, at the same that he's been going to his parents' new home and doing projects there. Today he's working on their kitchen floor. They're pulling up the 3 sub floors along with the putrid tile and then they will tile it with the vinyl tiles like we did to our bathroom. When they moved in, the kitchen floor was quite an eye sore but I know it'll look great when it's all finished. It's so nice to see a finished project when you've started on one, it's just the watching and waiting and hard work until you get to actually see it and appreciate it.

I've been having a real problem with patience lately - which is pretty unusual for me. I think it's just because I don't speak my mind and it's coming to a head. I realize at times, we need to just bite our tongues and let it go but in the cases that I've been getting stepped on, I definitely should have been speaking up. Like today, when I went to the deli to get some cold cuts and not ONE but TWO people totally cut in front of me in line. The woman behind the counter asked who was next and this man said he was - knowing damn right well, that he wasn't... He and this other woman walked in about 5 mins after I did. I only know that because when the front door opened, I looked down the aisle and saw them coming in. I thought for sure, that she was definitely not going to cut seeing that he already did and lo and behold, when the woman asked again who was next, the ignorant lady stepped right up and started rattling off her order. Seriously???!!! I'm more pissed at myself that I didn't say - AFTER the first ignoramous - "Excuse me - I'm definitely next. I was here before you came in". But no, I get all pissed off, let my nerves get all twisted and just stand there giving dirty looks. Then I go outside and someone, who obviously didn't want to have to park in the parking lot, decided to park so close that they boxed me in, clearly not having enough room to park, because their tail end of their big ass Cadillac was hanging half out on to the main road. Well, I couldn't even maneuver my car out of the spot, but I did my best and ooops! I bumped his front bumper. As soon as my car bounced off of it, I was stammered, "Shit!" but I checked it out and there was no damage, so I drove off, continuing my rant about stupid, IGNORANT people. Really - I would never be so rude to anyone. Boy, did my poor husband get an earful when he called a few minutes after my experience! But now I'm cooled down, and waiting for my sister to get her so we can take a trip to Babies R Us. Can't wait to see my niece! I miss her and haven't seen her in a couple of months - Niece #2 that is. Niece #1 was here last night and we had a sleep over, watched Twilight- Eclipse, made some artsy stuff with the painting "game" she brought over, went to a carnival (that was insanely over priced - $5 and $10 for the games).. It was a great night though. I love having her here - she's so good and when she gets up in the morning, she makes her bed! What a hoot. I never made my bed at 5 years old. Heck, my mom will tell you I never made my bed at 15. haha Really.

I got some grocery shopping done and rented The Dilemma for tonight - Hopefully it's funny. Kevin James is always a laugh so I have high expectations. We'll see.
Hope you're all staying cool and enjoying the summer so far. Don't forget your sunscreen! I just stocked up. Walgreens had a buy one -get one sale and I had a coupon too, so I got two big sized bottles of for $9. Awesome.

Wednesday Things..

He sins who despises the hungry; but happy is he who is kind to the poor.

Ironically, I read that proverb tonight. I say ironically because tonight I was driving home from work and there was a young man standing at the traffic light holding a sign that read: Traveling, broke & hungry. Anything helps. God Bless.

Of course, there were a dozen cars who stopped at the light, had a quick glance and kept on their ways. Finally, one car, just as the light was turning, held out some money and handed it to him. It looked like a couple of 20's but could've been more. The thing that really sucks is that we don't know if this guy is truly down on his luck and/or homeless. I've seen him there before.. in fact this was the 2nd day that I did see him there. I mentioned to my husband on Saturday, that the young guy was clean shaven and didn't appear to be homeless. But how do we know? We can't just assume that he's a fraud and refuse to help him, can we? I'd rather give him the money in good faith, only to find out he was a fraud, than to not help him at all and find out he really is in need. I didn't give him any money but if I'd had the cash on me, I would've. I have done it before.. and never thought about it twice. Tonight reminded me of another bible passage that I love. In fact, it was the one I chose as part of one of the readings in our wedding ceremony.

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. I'm always ready to help those in need and have done so, several times in the past. It may not always be a situation where the people truly are in need, but it's not for me to decide. They, if they are fooling others, will have to live with that. When I was collecting donations and distributing food baskets a few years ago to needy families, I can honestly tell you that, at least 3/4 of the recipients, were NOT in need. I was really disappointed and felt cheated by these people.. but again, they'll live with that, not me. I did my best to help them out and that's all I can do. I hope that some of you would do the same thing to help someone less fortunate, some day.

Pics as promised - My niece Chloe

Hangin' Around

I'm still in the blogosphere - But I've been doing a lot more reading than posting. Not that I haven't had anything to share. Heaven knows, that I always have something to say. Just ask my coworkers. : ) I'm glad that May 21st has come and gone... that crazy guy had me a little on the edge of my seat. I'm glad that some INTELLIGENT people were able to soothe my mind. Thanks Michelle. I can't say I believed it entirely - and when we went to church, our priest made fun of it - so I knew that I shouldn't believe it one bit. But this guy was somewhat convincing. I'm embarrassed to even say it. Nothing crazy has been going on in my life but hey there's always something to share.

- My sister went to Mexico for a wedding a couple of weekends ago. She loved it and sent me some pictures. Ugh! They were so inviting - I want to go where the water looks like that. Beautiful. She had a great time, but missed my niece a lot.

- She missed the awards event where she would have been presented her nursing award but I guess she couldn't help that it fell on the same day as the wedding. She was given a surprise party at work and they gave her the award there, along with a monetary award. She bought herself an iPhone. : ) She was going to save the money but I told her to just throw caution to the wind and buy herself something she really wanted. She totally deserved it - She worked hard for it. I'm very proud of her for receiving that prestigious award.

- We're still doing things at home - Working on projects and such. We want to tackle the basement next and get some sheet rock put up so we can build walls down there. It's almost finished as it is but the carpeting was pulled up before we bought the house because it took on water. Yuck. They never finished closing up the laundry room etc.. so it's all just open right now. My husband loves that he has a work shop though.. that's nearly closed off - it has a door etc. As with all home improvements, you do them as you get the moolah.

- I often think about adding another dog to the mix here because I feel like our doggie is lonely sometimes .. but with that comes more responsibility - More vet costs, meds, and since I just started paying back a student loan, I should just focus on that. They get ugly with that stuff.

- We went to a graduation party this past Saturday and it was a really nice time. I didn't know ANYONE (except our friends that invited us). These two really sweet women invited me over to sit with them because I was sitting alone. I was fine by myself but they insisted that I sit with them, saying they knew what it was like to not know anyone. They were so nice.. we had some really good conversation. The party was out in the "country" sort of. I'm not used to the quiet and the distance between houses, and no civilization for miles! Stores, etc.. : ) I'm a city girl. I need noise and traffic and stores on every corner.


- I've been steady looking for another job and haven't had any luck so far. I did get a call about one position but it was a per diem position. It was more of a vacation coverage deal. I have a full time job so I can't take something like that and lose hours as well as my medical benefits. I've always wanted to be in the medical field, in a clerical position, but it just hasn't happened yet. I don't HATE my current job... I just have a different career goal for myself. Even with the schooling I've recently completed to help me get into the field, I still haven't hit anything. I guess if it's meant to happen, it will. I know my resumé could use some polishing. I haven't told anyone at work that I'm planning to leave. I feel kind of bad about that but I know when it comes down to it, every one's just worried about Number 1. Who will have to do my work??

- Our friends just bought a travel trailer and I'm in love! They paid just about what we would for a used car and it's beautiful! Brand new and so nice inside. Made me think about getting one day, some day in the future. They have 3 children so they really like the idea of just packing up and heading out for a nice weekend of camping with the family. They even said they're going to venture to Disney this summer. Evidently, there's a Walmart close by and they let you set up camp in their parking lot, if you have a camper? How cool is that.. Free lodging! I've never been a camping fan - especially NOT in a tent but I could easily adapt to the trailer. Something we might consider in time. Or it could be one of those things, where it's a short lived fascination.

- My niece who was born in November is growing so quickly! I love her to pieces and wish I made more of an effort to visit. She is such a happy little girl - My sister and her husband have been blessed beyond words. I'll post a few pictures. Too cute not to share!

- At the graduation party, I got the old "So, Dawn, when are you having kids?"..
I wish people wouldn't ask that. I've never asked anyone but maybe it's because of the position I've ALWAYS been in. I just wish that people would realize it's a touchy subject and not broach it.

- I fret I may never get out bed today because I just turned on LMN and now I could be wrapped up in movies ALL DAY. No way, I have to clean the house. Open the windows, turn on some music and get this place in shape.

- I called in sick today - I've been having such issues with my stomach lately. I went to the doctor some time ago and had mentioned that I had a lot of reflux. Now it seems to be getting worse and really affecting me lately. I guess I have to go back and let her prescribe me something for it. I really don't like to take meds if I don't have to but it could lead to damage in my esophagus or something so I shouldn't take a chance. It's been wreaking havoc. Not fun.

I guess I should get started on housework -- I can't dilly dally all day. Or can I?
I've gotta catch up on my blog reading too. I like to stay on top of what everyone's doing. Hope everyone has a great week! The weather's going to be nice.

Good Friday - Deep Thoughts

Why is Good Friday referred to as “good”? What the Jewish authorities and Romans did to Jesus was definitely not good (see Matthew chapters 26-27). However, the results of Christ’s death are very good! Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” First Peter 3:18 tells us, “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.”

Lent is almost over and I'm a bit disappointed in myself. While, I abstained from eating meat on Fridays, like we're taught.. I didn't give up ANYTHING for Lent. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us and I couldn't pick one thing that I could sacrifice? I think there were MANY things I could have abstained from, but I was weak and chose not to even try. Wow. Pretty sad.

My husband and I were talking the other day about death and the fear everyone has of the world ending. I can tell you that one day, the thought of either just scared the crap out of me. Now that I've delved much deeper into my religion and have really come full circle with my Faith, I'm almost convinced that this life is just the "before". I guess this is what we refer to when we say that we've accepted Christ as our Savior. I trust Him with all of my decisions, I trust Him to guide me and lead me in this life. I'm content that He has a plan - whether something has turned out the way I wanted it to or has gone the total opposite direction.

I have a lot of contentment in my days because I start them with prayer and I conclude my days with prayer. It gives me peace. There was a time when I questioned "it all". I felt that there was no way that a God existed, because of things that were happening in my life and others' lives. At some point, I finally " got a clue" and realized that I left God - He never left me.
And so I did a complete 360. Started going back to church and confession and made my Confirmation. I felt that it gave me a much closer relationship with God. I'm not perfect by any means, and I'm a sinner. I'll NEVER claim not to be. As long as I'm on this Earth, I'll be a slave to sin. But I ask for forgiveness and all I can do is try better EVERY waking day to be a better Christian. I don't preach to people but I wanted to share my thoughts today. Thanks for "listening".

Hope you all have a Blessed Easter! (And the Easter Bunny brings you lots of yummy treats).

Today's post brought to you by the number 35!

Yikes! Can I really be 35? My goodness, I don't think it's possible. I was just graduating high school. No? : ) Well, I don't feel a day over 25. I wasn't going to, but I decided to take a personal day today and just relax. I have a few errands to run but mostly I'm just going to enjoy the day. My inlaws' gave me a really nice card and a gift card to Barnes & Noble, so I'm probably going to swing by there. I love Barnes & Noble! I also saw that The King's Speech came out on RedBox today, so I'm definitely going to rent it because I've wanted to see it. I heard it received great reviews and a couple of awards. Dinner's up in the air, not sure what I want to do about that yet. Stinks that every one's working, I can't go to lunch with anyone. That's ok, I'll have a great day. I hope the weather's nice today.

I was thinking yesterday of how happy I am in my life and the only thing that I would change is my career. I was doing some deep thinking on the way to work. And then, one of those mini tour buses pulled out of a parking lot and it had the word Aries in big black letters on the side of it. I thought that was crazy since I was thinking I wanted to make a change in my life and thinking about turning 35 etc.. and here's a bus with my Zodiac sign on it, right in front of me. Weird!
Well, guess I'm off to get my day started. I was up nice and early at 7 a.m. Wowsers! Not like me on my day off but I think I got enough sleep.

birthdays, holidays, LAZY days

Well, first of all, I tried to upload some of my wedding video and it was a huge FAIL on my part. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but I can't save it and/or just pull certain chapters out. So, it'll have to wait for another day. Maybe.

Today was a rather chilly day here but I still opened the windows while I cleaned the house and it felt good to have a breeze coming in like that. Airing the house out is so necessary! Actually, Dr. Oz said that somewhere. Love Dr. Oz - he's awesome. So I cleaned my tail off today - swiffered under the bed and the furniture and did all the hardwood floors. Lots of work but worth it when you see a nice clean house. I am always shocked at how much dog hair you can accumulate. Under the bed? Oh my word! It's like another animal living under there. I'm glad that Spring has come to visit - I hope it's not temporary. I actually put sunscreen on today, just to go pick up my mom at work. I just felt like the sun was pretty strong and sometimes when I get home, after driving a while, I have already gotten some sun. That's a big no no. For me, at least. I don't like to resemble Snow White, which I often do, but I am way afraid of skin cancer. I'm guessing pizza is on the menu tonight since we're still in Lent .. we can't eat meat. Easy for me, because that means I don't have to cook. I may try to bake a little later though. My mom got me some Tastefully Simple bread mixes - I have actually tasted the Beer Bread and it's so good! I can't wait to have some - I just have to find something to dip it in. Maybe I'll make some Pizza Dip to go with it. I'm glad you don't really have to use beer for it; the box says soda or carbonated juice works. Good, cause I don't have any beer hanging around. : ) I was actually able to catch a couple of good movies on LMN today - I rarely get a chance to actually sit down and watch TV - I choose to read or do something on the computer. But now and again, LMN gets me all caught up and I sit there like a couch potato, taking in all the drama that LMN is. My birthday is next Tuesday - Can anyone guess how old I'll be? I don't dread birthdays like most people do. I should've taken a vacation day and just spent the day doing nothing but I'll be at work instead. BLEH. Since it's during the week, we'll probably have some birthday cake with my family but nothing fancy. We always do cake. No matter who's birthday it is. This month is really moving along, I can't believe it. Easter is around the corner and I'm bummed about that as usual. I have to work. I really think Easter should be a holiday at work but they don't observe it as one so I get stuck working. When there were 2 of us in the office on Sundays, we would alternate the holidays and I actually made it to dinner a few Easters, but now that I have been by myself the past few years, I don't get to have dinner with the family. Shoot, last year, my husband didn't even bring me a plate! How dare he? Kidding. So I may ask if I can leave a couple hours early this year - I can't see that it'd be a problem because we have a fully staffed customer service department in our corporate office. They can take the phones etc for a couple hours, right? I'm a little nervous to ask but I guess I have nothing to lose. We'll see what I decide. Not sure what's on our agenda for the weekend - Last weekend we were so busy. We painted at the inlaws' new home, and we mulched and planted our front garden. It would great if we could just relax and do nothing, but we'll see what comes our way. Well, off to order some pizza and let the dogger out for some well deserved fresh air. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!