Forgiveness

I've always been a big advocate of forgiveness - usually when it comes to almost anything. Lately, there's been a lot of talk about forgiving.. (more so when we talk about sinning and forgiveness at church). I just wish people were more forgiving in their lives. I know it's not always easy and for some major things, you just don't or can't forgive someone, but it's such a burden to bear when you hold onto those feelings. I was remembering the other night, when it came up at church, a time in my life that I forgave someone quickly and without a second thought -
When my brother was hit by a car a few years back.. I was scared to death! He was in critical condition initially, which always scares the pants off of you... and I can remember most of my family just wanting to hurt the guy who hit him..and just wishing bad things on him.. but what I remember about myself is that I found myself wondering about the man that hit him. Wondering if he was ok and if he was worried about my brother? I knew he was. I wanted to go to his home and tell him that he my brother was going to be ok, just so that he'd know and could get some peace from it. It wasn't intentional - the man stopped when he hit him. Who knows to this day; what really happened that day. All that matters is that my brother is here today. I know that a couple people probably still wonder how I had such compassion for this man, but it's not really hard to explain. It actually gave me peace that I could forgive him.. It was an accident.

My heart hurts

These past few weeks, or maybe months, I have been really discouraged by humanity. People around me have shown such a lack of compassion and respect in different instances lately.. and I find it so disheartening.
I don't feel like getting into specifics right now.. I just can't believe that people can be so cold and have no or little compassion for those people around them..who are in situations that are NOT desirable.. whether it's a sickness, or a shortcoming; whatever the case .. these people around me, in my immediate surroundings, on a daily basis, are just unbelievable. I take pride in being who I am and that I have a huge heart..I just wish I could instill the same qualities/ideals in others. I know that's not humanly possible but it just really sucks...

Coming to know Him

So far, so good with my confirmation class. I feel like I'm learning alot as I go. I have a lot of questions each week - either after I read the assigned chapters in my book or when we have class on Thursday. Luckily, J is very knowledgeable and I'm able to discuss things at length with him.. which helps me to better understand and hopefully comprehend things...

I don't know how my fellow 'class mates' like it; but I really enjoy when we go over the discussion questions at the end of each assigned-reading chapter. It gives us a chance to discuss personal views/feelings on various topics.. and it's enlightening to hear what others have gotten from it..spiritually/emotionally.

I found that I need peace and quiet when I decide to sit down and read my book - or I can't fully concentrate. I highlight and make notations on the topics or phrases that interest me or that I have questions about.


Even though it's not complete, I do believe that I'm coming to know and understand Christ as I've never before.
It's such an enriching journey I'm on here ...

Finding me....

I feel like I'm in such a slump lately. I've been going through hell trying to figure out what it is I want to do with my life.. career-wise.
J and I were discussing it at length the past couple days and he was even kind of interested that I don't know what it is I want to do. The thing is I have narrowed it down somewhat.. I know that I want to be in the Medical field, like I've planned for so long... but now I'm even toying with the idea of maybe going into Legal Studies and becoming a paralegal. Law and things of that nature, really intrigue me.. so I imagine I'd be really satisfied in that field. As for the Medical thing, I've always wanted to be in the clerical aspect of that field.. not really hands on. I could be a Medical Secretary with the proper schooling.. I don't know what's taking me so long to get things up and running.. I've been researching some online courses (certificate programs) at various schools either in the area or not.. and I've already arranged how to pay for it and what time period I want to take the course. Geez, I should have had all this figured out by now - no? I'd love to graduate college and get my associates... I have all these things I want to do and wish I could do, but yet I never take the steps to accomplish these goals. I need to realize that it's not just going to fall in my lap one day when I least expect it....I have to make it happen!!
Honestly, I need to sit down and make a plan and get it in action. I don't like feeling so down ( for a lack of better words) ... and INCOMPLETE. I'm 31 - I need to figure things out. Life is happening and I'm just sitting here....

Change of plans

Well, we didn't make it to the Weight Watchers meeting to register like we planned.
Monday turned out to be a very hectic day with lots of unplanned obstacles. For both of us. So we're planning to go next Monday. I don't want to keep putting it off - We need to go!


And in other news - Tonight's the Genesis concert .. Not a big fan but Jeff loves Genesis so I'm going with him. It will probably be a good concert. Anything note-worthy, I'll blog it.

Weight Watchers .... Take 2

Well, I finally recruited someone to go to WW with me! I'm so excited - I really think that I'll stick it out this time. I don't know why I ever left the last time but it always helps to have someone to go to these things with.. so hopefully we both stay committed and really get some great results!


I think we'll do well .. We both really want to lose weight and we both need to.
We're at a point in our lives where we want to lose the weight and hopefully keep it off. The meetings help because it gives you that support environment and you get a lot of information out of it... other members' insight and great stories of weight loss and reaching goals. I know it's just a matter of deciding to do it and then setting your mind to it and accomplishing it.

I'll keep weekly updates on my progress... hopefully with cool little tickers and charts!

my-calorie-counter.com    The webs free Diet Log

Thoughts...and more thoughts...

Saw an interesting quote today:
"Every one dies; not everyone really lives". Thought that was worth sharing, especially on a day like today.

Today being September 11th.

I always think back to where I was and what I was doing on that dreadful day.
I was working for a family as a nanny at the time, and I know I was taking a walk with Justin. ..He was in the stroller and it was such a beautiful day out. I was just enjoying being outside and taking in the beauty of nature. I remember thinking what a great day it was so far. Not so for thousands of people in minutes to come after those thoughts.

I had just made it back to the house when Beth (my boss) had called me and asked if I had the TV on... so when I turned it on I just saw the 2nd plane crash into the building. At this point; I realized and she did too, that it wasn't an accident.

In addition to all of the passengers and staff on those plans; I hate knowing that there were children on those planes and what they must have went through! The fear in their little hearts/minds. It makes my heart ache to even fathom. I try not to. it's just not a day that anyone will ever forget. God Bless all those who were lost to it...in the planes and at Ground Zero. And God Bless everyone who lost someone to the tragedy.
I hope you all find strength and solace in the memories...

I'm getting confirmed....

No, really... I am.
I decided to go ahead and complete my sacraments. It only seems right to do it since I've recently just got back into church and so in touch with my faith again..after all this time. I'm really happy about it - It's a big step in the right direction for me. Last Thursday was the 'organizational' meeting. We (all 5 of us!) got aquainted, introduced, and also got a brief outline of how the class works, what books we'll be using, meeting times, place, etc...
I was a little embarassed when Father O'Donnell announced that I was the reason the class was even created! He said that after my persistent phone calls expressing my interest in the class, he decided that, if for no other reason, they'd have the class for me! That was pretty cute but funny. So alas, the class has started and in January sometime, we'll be confirmed in the Catholic Church. Yay!
Stay tuned for any updates - anything that I learn that I find share-worthy!

Summer '07

Guess the summer's just about over. It doesn't really phase me like it did when I was actually in school, but now it just means that the days of Curley's Fries & Mack & Manco's Pizza are over until next year
. I do love the fall though - so it won't be too bad knowing that I can expect to soon see the beautiful scenery that fall brings! Didn't get out as much as I would have liked this summer - but I did lunch with my sister in the city a few times, which was really great! (as usual) Guess as the weather gets colder and the season changes, we'll just have to do our girls day out in Olde City, inside instead of outside on the sidewalk under the umbrella table at Pizzocato. Hope everyone had a great summer. I know the kids are always bummed when school's going back in, I know I always loathed that first day back. But even with summer gone - I'm looking forward to the rest of the year and all that it brings. Hopefully lots of good - and scarcely any bad.

God give me strength?

I don't know if the right phrase to use would be: need a "break from life" or if saying a "break from reality" would be more accurate.
Probably the latter.
Talk about things really getting complicated in a really short time!
I don't know what's going on anymore but it seems like life keeps throwing some serious curveballs (more like hardballs or screwballs) to various people in my life. Relationships are so hard to understand! And the people who are in them, are even harder to figure out. You can never tell just what a person is thinking or feeling inside -- as much as we all wish we had that power.
It's so hard to trust and let your guard down emotionally knowing that any given day, it could just "bitch slap" you in the face.
I just can't bear it when someone I love/care about is hurting. No matter what it stems from... heartache, physical pain,...etc. Life shouldn't have to be such a challenge sometimes. I know it's never going to be perfect but I wish for "damn near". I'll always be there for my loved ones in their time of need..when they're hurting, confused, unsure, ... but I don't always know what to say. And mostly I just want to be able to banish all the pain and hurt and uncertainty from their hearts and minds. Life is always going to be an uphill climb but it should seldom be an uphill "struggle'. Sometimes, trying to figure things out just makes it all worse. Some things are just not meant to be understood I guess. That sounds crazy but I find that sometimes things need to be let go rather than putting yourself through the endless hell of trying to grasp the meaning or the reasons. But I do agree that in certain cases, for certain issues, the answers need to be found and in most cases; understood. It's true that "life" in general will always present a challenge somewhere along the way and sometimes, always... but I guess all we can do is pray for the strength to get through those times, be there for the people that need us (even though they won't always reach out), and just know that there will be better days.