Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Work hard, pray harder

I can say that almost every day, I have something I can 'talk' about here on my blog.   Not always so interesting, but always something in this crazy mind of mine.    Then, there are days that I feel I really have to 'talk' and this is one of those days.

I was always a praying person - From the time I was little.
When Mom was first diagnosed with cancer and then EVERY day after, I prayed, and I prayed HARD.   I prayed at home, at work, in the bathroom, in the car, at bed time, at church.   I was a praying machine!  The days leading up to and including the day Mom passed, I prayed non-stop.    Then, after that day, I felt like I stopped, almost abruptly.    And I can't even figure out why.   Before you even suggest it, it wasn't because I felt that God failed me or that my prayers were falling on deaf ears. I haven't lost any Faith.
  I really have no idea or excuse as to why I stopped - I have plenty of things to pray for and ABOUT.  Maybe it's a subconscious thing; I really don't know.  What I do know is that I'm very disappointed with myself.   I need to get  back into the swing of things and stop being a slacker.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you are in a little prayer rut. I understand! This happens to me too. It's not like you stop believing, but it's just hard to get into it, right? You will find your groove again... :-) maybe try something totally different? check out a new book or take a nice long walk and have a talk with God then?

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  2. Thank you so much for that feedback.. It's refreshing to know that I'm not alone in this kind of thing. It's been very strange for me. but you're right, I should try another channel and liven up my Faith! : )

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  3. I think this happens to many of us. I've always considered myself to be quite faithful, attending church as much as my schedule permits me, and praying to God, our Holy Mother, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as much as my free time allows me. Key words: permit and allow. It should be the other way around, right? He is the one who is in charge and our lives should center around Him and the longing for the love of His children.

    But for some reason, when a loved one becomes ill, I think it only feels right within our hearts to pray as much as we possibly can.
    When death was knocking on my mother's door, I found myself constantly praying for her to get better. Not only that, but I also made sure that I thanked God every single day for the things I did have (a roof over my head, a job, a relationship that helped keep me away from the darkness, etc.), and I still do. However, I too have slacked off a bit when my mom miraculously got better. And now that she is sick once again, I find myself at God's grace once more.

    It's times like these that I question my devotion; only to promise myself not to falter any longer. I don't like feeling like this; a person who only pleads for God's miracles and hands when it's convenient for me. I have to learn that He will always come first and this life is just a glimpse or preview of the greatness that is to come. So let's stop beating ourselves up and try to put God first as much as He will allow us to. Easier said then done, but sometimes we've got to be willing to submit our leisure time to His will and testament.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Gina, for your thoughts on this as well. Good to know that I'm not the only one who seems to be at an impasse with this.

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Hi, thanks for YOUR thoughts on MY thoughts! Happy reading!