meet me where I am

If you've ever been in a discussion about grief, or any other struggle you have seen or endured, you may have heard someone use the phrase "meet me where I am".   We just closed out another grief support group, for the fall sessions, and we talked a lot about this subject.  Meeting people where they are.  A few of our members mentioned how they had great support from some people, but how others just didn't get it.  So, we talked about how, when someone is grieving, you can't and shouldn't push them.  You find out where they are in their grief, and you just meet them there.   Don't step over that line.  Let them go as far as they are able, when they WANT to talk about it, and then leave the conversation to rest. At least until THEY want to resume it.
After holding 3 support groups, in the last year, it's really shed some light on how others react to our grieving. We can't make people understand how we're feeling, but I also don't think we should ever apologize for feeling anything.   Don't apologize for not going to a dinner, or a party.  Don't feel bad because you "broke a tradition" on a holiday, because you just weren't ready.   Sometimes, or often times, in our meetings, I can relate to a lot that people are sharing and expressing about their own grief stories.  

When I lost my one and only pregnancy, after years of wishing and praying to have a child, it broke me.  I was in a depression all 6 weeks of recovering at home, after an emergency surgery, that basically saved my life.  I knew I was different.  I felt it and I recognized it.  When I went back to work, I was in a "bad place" emotionally.   But didn't realize it immediately.

So, even a couple years later, when I received a baby shower invite, for someone I'd never even met,  I just couldn't go.   There were people, in my life, that weren't very understanding about it and I know what they said about "getting over it", in so many words. They thought I was being unreasonable.  "Oh, that was a year ago" ..      I know they didn't "get it"..  and that's ok.
They didn't have to.   I did (or didn't do) what I knew was best for my heart. There was nothing that bothered me more than my loss and grief being compared to someone else's.  Yes, other women had lost children, babies, and pregnancies.  But they never lost mine.  I did.

It was just as hard going to mass on Mother's day weekend.   I never expected it, but when the priest was giving the blessings and talking about moms, I started crying and couldn't stop.  I was in full sobbing mode in seconds,  and I kept wondering if anyone could see me.  Now that I look back, I don't think I should have cared what they would have thought.   I should have never had to explain myself or my grief, to anyone. I should have never even had a second thought about it.  No one gets to tell you how to feel, how to grieve, or how not to.   If they say you're doing it wrong, they're way out of line and way inaccurate.  Your best way to grieve, is exactly the way you are.  People tell you that you shouldn't hold on to things, material things.  Clothes, trinkets.   I've known people who cleaned out closets immediately, and donated clothes and other personal effects.   Are they wrong, or doing it too soon?   No.  They're doing it at the time they deem best for THEM.  I still have a baby sweater that a friend knitted when I first found out I was pregnant, as well as the baby journal that my niece bought me.  Do I look at them sometimes, yes.  Mostly when I just happen upon them.  But, am I going to part with them, any time soon?   I don't know.   So far, no.   That record book has handwritten notes in it, and details of a time in my life that I wanted more than anything.   Although it didn't have a happy ending, it's still a time in my life that did carry so much joy at one time.  I don't think I'm ready to part with that memory.  It's a part of my life, no matter how that particular chapter of the story ended.     So, no, you don't have to part with anything that you're not ready to.  Don't let anyone tell you that they know best for you.  Only you can know when you're ready to move to the next step in the path of your grief.
Your friends & family, coworkers, and the like, just want what's best for you, and will sometimes offer suggestions on coping, or advice.   Take it if you think it fits you, at that time. Appreciate it.  But don't feel obligated to act on it.  

hold on to your bippy

When I was little, my mom-mom, when she was driving over a bump, or a hill, would say "hold on to your bippy"   -- I imagine a bippy is a tummy?  No idea.  I never asked, I always just readied for whatever was she was about to navigate in the station wagon, with the wood trim.

As an adult, it might have helped if I had someone in my ear, whispering "hold on to your bippy", so I'd have been prepared (even, semi) for some of what life has thrown at me (us).   Maybe I could have braced myself?  I doubt it, but it's a neat thought, and it's nostalgic.

But, if I can use just one word that meant all the difference these past 6 years, I say ..FAMILY.
Our family pulls together, in a moments' notice and we don't hesitate or ask questions.
We've run to hospitals in the middle of the night, or early morning. We've loaded up the car with tacos and twisted teas, and headed to my sister's after a breast cancer diagnosis.   We've sat in waiting rooms, waiting for one of us in surgery.   We've accompanied each other to tests, appointments,etc.
Not all of which were favorable.   In fact, few were.  This last time we banded together, we all packed up our overnight bags and went to Samaritan Hospice the day the night that Dad was admitted in the middle of the night.  We stood outside, waiting to be let in, like a bunch of weirdos in the night.  I don't know if I would have let us in. HA!      We set up camp in my Dad's room, from Thursday until Sunday, when he decided it was alright to go.  

Our living space for the weekend

We ordered out, we prayed together, we laughed.  Oh how we laughed.  And I know that sounds strange but that's our family.   I'm sure that Dad could hear our laughter and it made his heart full.  Maybe even put him at ease, knowing that he would soon leave us earth side, while he went on to see his parents and other loved ones.
Without our family, life would be a hell of a lot harder to get through. Funny things just always happen - no matter the circumstance. But that seems to be what gets us through.  I imagine, to those looking in from the outside, it may seem unusual to hear laughter coming from a hospice wing.  But the truth is, however you get through it, is your own business.   We had a funny joke that Dad was so competitive, he outlasted everyone else in his hallway that weekend.  He really did.  Then there was the time, my brother and I, half asleep and coffee deprived, made a pot of coffee in the family kitchen, NOT knowing that it was full already.  Those pots are so deceptive!

Home of the great coffee catastrophe!

So, yeah, that ended up all over the counter and floor.   All I can remember is Maya feverishly grabbing paper towels and trying to clean it up as fast as she could!  Oh my gosh, did we laugh. 
It was not an easy weekend, and it was difficult knowing that it was our last with Dad, but I think it was a gift, of sorts, that we were all able to be there and spend it with him.  He couldn't talk to us, but he knew we were there.   I can tell you, it is not an easy thing knowing your parent is dying and you're just sitting there, bedside, and waiting.  Wishing it weren't happening, but knowing that they're at peace and comfortable.   That was our first experience with hospice, but in a strange way, it was a really positive experience, as opposed to a sudden death, and not being afforded the chance to be there and say goodbye.   It was an entirely different experience, than losing my Mom.. and maybe why it didn't destroy me the same way.  One word: peace.   Hard to explain in full, but trust me on that.   

the sky has finally opened, the rain and wind stopped blowin'

I'm the kind of person who can hear a snippet of a song, and know immediately if I like it.  Rainbow, by Kacey Musgraves, is one of those songs.  I'd never heard it, before watching her sing it at this year's Grammys.   I loved it and I had to learn every lyric.  What a beautiful song, that almost everyone can relate to?   Only about a week after I'd heard it, my Dad went into inpatient hospice.  He'd been at home, on hospice care, before that.   The day that Dad passed, after a few hours, we all packed up our stuff and headed home to resume life, without our Dad.   I was driving down the road, still about 20 minutes from home, and Rainbow came on the radio.  I smiled.   I felt like it was the song that would remind me of my dad now.  Listening to the lyrics, I was convinced.  

Then, the day of Dad's services, I was driving behind the hearse, following them to the cemetery. (I know, that sounds weird, right?) 👀    The weather was terrible that day.   Friday, March 1st.
 We woke up to a mix of snow and rain. Just a less than desirable forecast for this occasion.  Making it even more gloomy.
But, pulling into the cemetery, the weather started to clear a little, and just as I was turning in, Rainbow came on the radio.   I cried, instantly... but mostly I smiled.  It reminds me of my Dad in so many ways now, especially when I think of the lyrics.

♪♫ Oh tie up your boat, take off your coat, and take a look around ♪♫
        Everything is alright now

He'd been through so much in the past few years, health wise.  All the grueling tests, scans, results.  More of the same.   Sleep escaped him so often.  Some days he didn't have an appetite.  Some days you could see the pain on his face.  It broke my heart.  But I was always upbeat in front of him.  The Rainbow song kind of makes me think about that whole time in Dad's life.   The rain (all the trials) was now gone and the rainbow was here.  It always was; it was just hard to see for all the dark clouds.  Some people think the song's a bit hokey, but I will always sing it when it comes on the radio.  And I'll always think of Dad.  The last weekend that we spent with him, although extremely difficult, just as precious as any other weekend we'd spent with Dad.  Maybe even more.
 My niece loves the song too  - and we usually sing it together.   Maybe for the same reasons.  : )

Is this thing still on?

I've really missed blogging.  I miss writing, in general.  I miss a lot of things.   I haven't picked up a book in a while either.  I need to get back to those things.
Last time I even posted, it was about up and coming things I was getting involved with.  One of those things: I became a certified bereavement minister.    Last Fall, was the first group I facilitated and it went pretty well.   We're already in the swing of things, with the Spring group now.    I have more people attending this time, and although I haven't asked for it, I've gotten really positive feedback from the group.  They all look forward to coming back.  I can't wave a magic wand and fix all their broken hearts, but I'm there to listen and help them along their grief journey.   It's been rewarding and emotionally taxing at times.  But I honestly really love being able to hold these meetings and offer grieving folks a safe place to come to.   I try to keep the conversations going but sometimes there's silence.  Truth is, that silence is ok.    I do try to find helpful handouts, and videos, to mix things up.   Some groups are a little more structured than mine, in that they use a workbook and have weekly assingnments. I like to keep my group a little more open and loose, because I realize that not everyone can make EVERY meeting.   I want them to have the flexibility of coming in and not feeling like they have to catch up.  I feel like this is what I was called to do - and I often wondered what my purpose was.  This ministry is so important and I am glad I can be a part of it.

New ventures

Good grief --

When's the last time I blogged?  Last year?   Shit.   I wouldn't like a blogger like me.
But thanks for coming back anyway.

Not to say that life hasn't been busy or eventful since that last post.  It surely has. 
But rather than try to catch it up here, I'll start with current events.  Hmm. Current events, I think that was a class in high school.   

Sorry, I got distracted again. 

So, we're only 3 months into the new year and I'm trying to stop procrastinating and also trying to follow through with goals I set for myself.   It's not that I'm afraid of commitment; I just seem to get distracted and pulled away by other things.   Mostly important things.. and some not.
I've been acting on things, more quickly now.    Jumping at and grabbing opportunities that interest me. 

Recently, I became a prayer partner for a prayer chain group, after seeing an email from a Diocesan staff member.
The prayer chain group has 2 leaders and they receive the prayer requests from people all over. 
Then they send the email requests out to myself and other prayer partners, and we pray for those folks.   We offer our prayers of intercession.   I'm excited about this. 
So, of course, if you're reading this and you need prayers for your intentions, shoot me a message!  I'll gladly add you to our list and we'll offer them up for you! 

I'll also be sharing about something else that I'm doing, that I've really been wanting to do and that I feel called to do.     That'll be a later post. ♥

A bucket list ...?

I was just thinking, about a website, that I had an account on, called 31 Things.  It was a long time ago & it's non-existent now, which really bums me out because I wanted to access my account.
    It was basically a "bucket list" website, where you list just 31 things.    I can't really remember much of mine, but I do remember a few things.  

It got me thinking today & now I want to create a list.. or "re-create" a list.    I doubt that I'll make it to 31 items today - But we'll see how it goes.  And these things are in no particular order of importance.

What are some of your musts?   Do you have a bucket list?    Comment below, with your list, or just a few interesting things, if you don't want to share it all.

I've posted mine -   (or at least what I can think of right now)


1.)     Ride the carousel at Franklin Park in Philly
2.)     Go to Coney Island  (this has been a must, since I saw the movie Uptown Girls)
3.)     Get a small peircing on my nose.
4.)     Have a child (is this a bucket list item? Is that weird?)
5.)     Write a book
6.)     Sing with a band (just once is fine, it doesn't have to be a long term thing)
7.)     Own a carousel horse
8.)     Go to a musical in NYC
9.)     Try out for a musical
10.)   Learn to play the piano
11.)   Visit as many shrines as I can (Padré Pio, Blue Army, Miraculous Medal, so many options!)
12.)   Join the choir at church

This is the shit

I've wanted to try this stuff since I saw it the first time.  I finally did when I went to a birthday party at a really nice winery a year or two ago.    Only, I didn't really get to "use" it, because I only had to pee.    But I still sprayed it to see what it smelled like.   I also came out of the bathroom and back to our table,exclaiming "There's PooPourri in the bathroom!"...
  No one shared my excitement.   Lame asses.  

So, fast forward to this past Monday, when a good friend of mine, gifted me a bottle!   The scent of mine is Heaven Scent... and it smells amazing!     I couldn't wait to go poop that day....It felt like forever, waiting and waiting.....   Come on, coffee, do your job.
   And when it finally happened, I was excited to spritz the toilet water and take a seat.   People, I shit you not, this stuff really works.    It literally covers the scent of your "duty" before it even happens!
I used to think "well, shit, I can just spray some regular air freshener in the bowl, if that's how it works".... But, no.   That's a stupid idea.    I don't want all those chemicals up my ass or on my cheeks.    No, Poo~Pourri is SAFE.

*  No parabens
*  No Phthalates
*  No aerosol
*  No alcohol
*  No formaldehyde


And it really is a practical gift, ladies!   It has a cute TO and FROM section on the packing!
And if you have a friend that tells you it's gross or impractical, they're lying.   They're "shitting" you.   Because poop stinks.   And as we all know from the highly regarded childhood storybook, "Everybody Poops".
I really love the scent that my friend picked for me, but I'm anxious to try some of the others and also see if it comes in other sizes.

Thanks Poo~Pourri!  (and my coworkers thank you too!)

book review - Where Are You Hiding God

Where Are You Hiding God - Elizabeth Zartl

What an adorable book!   It's not a long read (which is perfect for little ones) & it was so sweet.  

 I think this is a great book for children who are just learning of or hearing of God.   Many children, when they're first being introduced to their Faith and God, tend to have so many questions. 

  Many times I've had friends tell me that their children were at church for the first time and were waiting patiently to "see God".  What a hoot.

But, this book really lays the foundation for introducing and explaining God's presence.
We don't see Him, but the books suggests where we CAN find Him...   And He's in everything!

The story is told from a little girl's perspective; I think that really helps children to relate. 

As an adult, of 41, I really loved this book and would purchase it for my youngest niece.

 Definitely a great stepping stone for parents to use, maybe right before kids start Sunday School, or religion classes....

Really, any time that you see fit.    

** I was able to read an advanced reader copy from NetGalley...
The publishing date for this book is September 14th, of this year.

Recommended for ages 3 & up ... 

Any Dream Will Do - Debbie Macomber

Another great ARC, from NetGalley!   I started this book, soon after my 'request to read' was approved.    I finished it, in only a few days!  I tend to love Debbie Macomber's books anyway, so I couldn't imagine that I wouldn't enjoy it.    Such a cute story, about second chances, courage, Faith, love, letting go, and finding happiness.
Basically what we all want (and need) in life.   
If you need a good beach read, this summer, grab this one.  You'll enjoy it, trust me.


Release date:  August 8, 2017

                                                       

Addicted to Journaling

It's true.   I don't know how many journals I have laying around at this point.   But I love them all.
Do I write in them all the time?  No.  Most are from days of old and I'll never write another entry in them.   I have some new ones though.   I have a Mom journal, (where I write entries to my mom, who has passed on).    I have a prayer journal (newly aquired) which I really love!  The journal that was gifted to me last Christmas, is in my work bag. I just feel like I always need to keep one on me at all times, to record thoughts, ideas, quotes that I've heard and need to remember, etc...

Today, I saw an ad for this one and it didn't take me but a second to decide that I must have it!
And apparently, it's only a little over 10 bucks on Amazon...
It has a question for every day of the year and it's a 5 year journal!   Imagine!  
Looks like I'll be treating myself to this soon..

What I Read & What I Thought.....

Still loving NetGalley and being able to read ARCs of books that haven't hit the shelves yet.    I love reading reviews, so I figure I should post mine as well, so others might find my blog and stumble upon a great new title to read.  Or maybe one to stay away from.   : )

So, here's what I've read lately, and my honest opinions.....


It Started With Goodbye -   Christina June  - Romance - Teens & YA


Loved it.   Yes, it's another one I chose, in the YA (young adult) category, but I tend to really like some of those books.  This one was no exception.    Written well, kept me interested, and I was anxious to see where it was going.  A cute read for anyone, I thought. Reminded me of my teen years, a little, with the exception of having a stepmom and step sibling.  I read it in just a few days.

Small Great Things - Jodi Picoult - Women's Fiction/General Ficton - Adult


Truth?   I started this title a while back and ended up quitting.   I was annoyed at the style of writing; each chapter alternated with one of the 2 main characters, and seemed a little repetitive.   Then, one day, I decided to be the loyal Jodi fan that I am, and gave it another chance.   Well, I fell right into it. I realized why that format was important, in alternating the characters and refreshing the previous chapter.   This book made me really think and actually put me in check a few times.  There were moments in this story, where I had to examine my own thoughts and actions.  I wasn't aware that Jodi Picoult wrote this book, after reading a true story, very similar to it.  That made the story all the more thought provoking & enlightening.

Never Let You Go - Chevy Stevens - Mystery/Thrillers - General Adult Fiction


This one is a big YES.   It frightened me, intrigued me, and made me realize how sometimes we just don't know people that we think we might.   Sort of a plot with a twist, although I felt like I was figuring it out without trying to.  Another title that I read in less than a week, because I had to keep going.
Excellent read and I would see the movie, if there were one in the works.

the time Dad turned 70

We threw a 70th birthday party, for my Dad.  It was actually a surprise party & we pulled it off!
I was so nervous driving him to the venue & keeping in touch with my sister via text to let her know where we were and when.    He really fell for it.  We told him that it was actually a SURPRISE party for my sister, who's birthday is the same month!   I even sent my dad and stepmom, a fake invitation for my sister's party!     So much fun.

I think Dad had a great time -  He saw some family members that he hasn't seen in a long time & he really looked happy.    I wish we could do these things every weekend.   Having family together and making memories is such a wonderful feeling!

Don't be a boob

I know that most women, if not all, do not need reminders or annoying posts, encouraging them to get their mammograms.   But this might be more of a "note to self" for me.   I was on top of it, when I got my first mammogram.   That was 4 years ago.   Now, the procrastinator that I am, I'm well overdue.   I need to get one.  Not just because my mom had breast cancer, but because I have breasts.   That's all the reason you need, isn't it?     

Funny story:  When I wanted to schedule my 2nd mammogram, (which I later canceled), South Jersey Radiology called me to confirm insurance info, and then the woman who helped me, could not find me in their system.  She kept asking "are you sure you've been here, I can't find you in the system"....  So I replied "Well, then, we have a bigger problem, because, I came into your facility on a Saturday morning and I was fondled!"     The gal on the other line laughed so hard, as did I!  And then we figured out that the issue was the fact that they had merged with Booth Radiology and the system was a little screwy.     I didn't keep that appointment, but I should have.

So I'm all scheduled for this coming Saturday - It was easily scheduled online.
 I love being able to do that, because I don't always have time at work, and I can't always use the phone for personal conversations.    And, contrary to the banter you hear, it's not really that bad.   A little uncomfortable, but it's over in less than 10 minutes, and you're on your way out the door.   
Wonder why they don't encourage women to get their mammos, by having sexy men (or women) perform them?   It would feel more like "pleasure" and less "business"...  Should we look into this?
Ok, I will.     In the meantime, schedule your mammogram if you haven't.   

Two words:    Early Detection.  

who's your daddy

I was lucky enough to be given a free Wisdom Panel DNA kit, for our pooch, Miley.   I was actually really eager to use it, because I'd been wanting to buy one of these kits, ever since hearing about it.   All I had to do was swab the inside of our dog's cheek and get enough saliva to cover the bristle of the DNA sticks and that was it!    Then you just pack it back up in the box, you send it back to the experts, and they send you the results via email, when they've finished the processing.

When I received Miley's results, I was surprised at some of it, and not surprised at other parts.
Jeff and I were always trying to guess her true breed and the mixes that she had in her.  When we first brought her home, we were told she was beagle/cockapoo.   She has the beagle ears and the howl that they do.. (which is cute at times, but not when you're unsuspecting and you jump 3 feet in the air). According to the analysis, as it gets more into the breed detections, it does show Beagle as a prominent mix she has in her.

Here's a little snippet of what the Wisdom Panel folks told us about Miley...

Description+

The Wisdom Panel 4.0 Canine DNA Test provides you with information to plan for your dog’s unique nutrition, training and even healthcare. Results provide you with:

1. Ancestry back to the great-grandparent level
2. A predicted weight profile
3. Information about the physical traits your dog may exhibit
4. Testing for the MDR1 genetic mutation
5. Testing for Exercise-induced Collapse (EIC)

Wisdom Panel 4.0 covers more than 250 breeds, types and varieties including all those recognized by the American Kennel Club (AKC) and can be run for mixed-breed, designer, or purebred dogs. The procedure is the same for all three, but you decide at the time of activation how you would like us to run it. For purebred and designer dogs, the test will provide a Principle Component Analysis chart comparing your dog with others of that same breed(s) in our database and for purebred tests specifically, an additional Homozygosity Profile.

If you want to try it out, here's a promo code to save you $15 off of a kit.
Use code: FF5043172DA

 I thought it was a pretty cool report to have and to see what Miley's family tree might look like.  There's a lot of interesting information in it! 

ARC reviews ~ My NetGalley picks

I've started to expand my reading horizons a bit, by choosing genres that I normally wouldn't.   Thanks to NetGalley, I've been able to do that.    The last 2 books that I requested to read, were from Mystery & Thrillers: The Girl Before  and YA {young adult}: - The 100 lies of Lizzie Lovett  

Both of these, I would definitely give the thumbs up.   I like to keep my reviews short and to the point.  I'm not going to tell the whole story.  The idea is for me to tell you what I thought and whether I'd recommend it.
I like to see reviews that do the same thing.    Sooo...



The Girl Before - JP Delaney



Loved it.  This book seriously started to mess with my mind, in a good, intriguing way.  It made me answer questions that I never really contemplated.   Somehow, there was every single human emotion in this book.  Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I realized I didn't.   At all.  The author didn't disappoint when it came to description and detail.  Woo!  Some of it made me blush a little ~    I would say give it a whirl, especially if you're into the thriller & mystery books.   Amazon tags it:  In the tradition of The Girl on the Train, The Silent Wife, and Gone Girl.     So, yeah.     This book comes out on 01/24 , and I highly recommend it, folks.  You'll be as curious and anxious as I was.

The Hundred lies of Lizzie Lovett  - Chelsea Sedoti













This book was pretty good too.    I thought it was written well and it kept my attention.  I wasn't bored; in fact I was pretty curious to see how it was going to end, so I was reading it at work and at home.  It was cute, mysterious, dramatic, and in ways, and even a little familiar. It looks like this was the author's debut book, and I think she did pretty well.

Don't Wish It Away

I heard Trace Adkins'  "You're Gonna Miss This"  on the radio yesterday.  I forgot how much I liked it.
I can remember the first time I heard that song; I was traveling back from PA to NJ, with my now husband, smiling at the similarities I had with the first character in the song.

I can relate to this song, so much.   I felt like someone was watching me as an adolescent and writing these lyrics, all the while.    I'm sure I'm not the only one.

♪  She was staring out the window of that SUV-  

                 Complaining, saying "I can't wait to turn eighteen" ♫

When we were kids, (my siblings and I), we were part of a pretty "normal", nuclear family.   Mom, Dad, kids.   Sometimes there were dogs, birds, bunnies, cats, hamsters, gerbils, fish.  Geez, looking back, I never realized how we had almost every species of a household pet!
Just about every weekend, my Dad would wait for us all to wake, and then we'd all pile in the car for our Saturday or Sunday outing.  Sometimes both days.   Sometimes we'd end up in Delaware (for the New Castle flea market) where I got my first Rick Springfield T shirt... thank you very much.  I remember there was a shop inside the flea market, where they sold all furniture;mostly wicker.   I always dreamed of having an all wicker bedroom, but I was floored at how much each piece cost and knew it wasn't going to happen. 
 We'd shop around, Dad would buy all the fresh meats for the week at the Amish market inside, {remembering to get me some pickled eggs and beef jerky} Then we'd pack it all in the Styrofoam cooler full of ice. After the flea market and sometimes shopping at Ames, we'd all have a family dinner at Dempsey's restaurant.   I'd usually order Chicken Parmesan with french fries.   Also LOVED the salad bar. I think that's where I started my obsession with chick peas in my salads.

Even as great as those weekends sound and how many kids today would love that family time, I wasn't always appreciative of it.   I can remember leaning on my palm, pressed against the window, many times, wishing I was anywhere but there.  Wishing I was home with friends, or listening to music. Riding my bike with neighborhood friends.   Wishing I was one of those kids who didn't have to partake in the family outings, and didn't have to be home for dinner every night.   I felt like the dork of all dorks.. that we had these Brady Bunch-ish weekends.   But, now?  Man, do I realize how great being a family was.  And is.
If only I'd known then that the time was so precious and that we were making memories I'd still remember at 40.   All of that family bonding and togetherness is probably what kept us all out of trouble, and on the right path in life.  Who knew then that our parents were so precious, and so important?  You don't think of those things as a kid.    You focus on how much you hate having to listen, having a curfew, how much they annoy you with rules and discipline.   Always acting like they know so much.   Then, one day, as an adult, you're writing a blog post about it, and you realize that Mom and Dad did know an awful lot.  They were never trying to piss you off, they were always just guiding you,molding you.    They took us along on those family adventures because they loved us and wanted to spend time with us.  They wanted us to be a FAMILY.

I wish I could get just one of those weekends back.  Just to really savor it and enjoy it for all its' worth.
  I would appreciate it more than I ever did, and I'd have taken it in just a little more.  I'd have made sure not to forget a single moment.  I would have spent more time enjoying it and less time wishing it away.  If only we'd had Smartphones then.   All the great photos and memories I'd have.   But, the ones in my mind and in my heart as just as awesome and just as clear.    ♥ Thanks Mom & Dad ♥

Debbie Macomber - Sweet Tomorrows {review}

Debbie Macomber's one of my favorite authors; I love her style of writing and the feel good books she puts out.   I saw Sweet Tomorrows on Netgalley and immediately requested it.   So glad I did!

Even though I'm not usually a series fan,  the Rose Harbor series converted me, if only temporarily.

Sweet Tomorrows is #5 in that series - and I can tell you that the 4 books before it, were as great a read as this one.   This book makes me wish that the Rose Harbor Inn was real.. and that I could go stay there for a weekend, to regroup, gather my thoughts and dreams and come home with some resolve.

  If you love a good book about love, friendship, healing, and finding yourself, this could be your perfect beach read this summer.

What I read & what I thought

I'm pretty hooked on this NetGalley site, where I can request to read copies of books that pique my interest.   Only problem is that I'm finding myself requesting like a crazy woman and then not being more committed to reading the titles that I'm approved for.    I did, however, just finish another 2 books that I really enjoyed.

American Tumbleweeds - Marta Elva 








  Honestly, I didn't think it was something I'd enjoy reading, but once I started it, I was hooked.   It grabbed my attention fairly early on.  I thought this story was written well, but I didn't understand some of the Spanish phrases that were used, but soon realized that there were context clues and usually right after a Spanish phrase, there was the English translation.  I liked the story itself, and I felt like I could actually see the characters and the scenery.  This story, although fiction, opened my eyes to an era and a history that I was unaware existed.  Or maybe I wasn't so much "unaware", but more uninterested.  That was BEFORE.
  When an author is able to bring a book to life and you are actually "in" the story and can visualize it, that is pretty awesome.  I guess it's not really a negative point, but I thought this book ended abruptly.   I liked the way it ended, but I didn't realize it was the end initially.  I thought I skipped over a few pages on my Kindle, so I had to go back and make sure.  Maybe it's going to be the first installment of a series?  If so, I'm pretty sure I'd look for the next book.


Sugar Daddy - Sawyer Bennett

                       Umm... I should have waited to read this until the other 2 were available.  Sugar Daddy is book 1 of the Sugar Bowl series.   (Sugar Daddy, Sugar Rush, Sugar Free)     Did not know that.   I'm kind of glad I didn't realize it, because I normally don't read series' or trilogies and may have never picked this up.     So glad I saw it on NetGalley and requested to read it.     I guess I would say that it's along the lines of a softer 50 Shades, if that's your genre... (it's not mine).   In fact, I once borrowed a book from the library, an author I'd never read before, and it was pretty raunchy.  I was reading it at work, on my lunch break and was almost embarrassed.   No one could possibly know what I was reading, but it was just not my kind of book.   I sound like such a prude.    I didn't feel like Sugar Daddy was that bad.     So, yes, there is sex talk in this book but it's not the entire basis.  It's got a little bit of romance, revenge, suspense...all wrapped up in one.
.   It was definitely, for me,  a "couldn't put it down" kind of read, and when it ended (still before I knew it was a series)... It was such a cliff hanger!  I'm so eager to read the next 2 books.   Definitely a beach read, this summer!  I don't think you'll be disappointed.

The Things We Keep - Sally Hepworth

     I loved this book.   That's it.   No, I'm kidding.   But, it really was pretty great.  It kind of centered around 2 women, who were both in different places in their lives and opposite roles - but it was easy to keep up with and was a great story line.  Even though it was fiction, I felt myself feeling sad for the young couple who fell in love, despite both having Alzheimer's.   It scared me that it could happen; I can't imagine living like that.  Or knowing someone so young who suffered from it.  Definitely recommend it.  This was the first Sally Hepworth book I read, so I'm interested in seeing some of her other titles.


We Just Clicked -  Sophie Childs

   I requested his on NetGalley, because when I read the summary, it sounded like something I'd enjoy.    I didn't get very far.   I don't know if it's the style of writing or what, but I couldn't get into this.   I didn't even understand some of the terms or phrases that were being used..  so I gave up.   In the author's defense, she is from the UK.. so that may have been the obstacle for me reading this.   Words and phrases I've never heard.




On my NetGalley shelf to read next:
Emily Giffin - First Comes Love
Debbie Macomber - Sweet Tomorrows

Stay Tuned!