If you haven't noticed; I have background music on my blog now... and usually I choose a song that goes along with the theme of "life". This time around I chose a song that was a good soundtrack to how I've been feeling lately.
I'm struggling to find lately; what exactly it is that I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I feel so lost these days & I can't figure out what I want out of this life.
I KNOW that I want to go back to school and I KNOW that I want to do something with my life that defines me.. but I just don't know what it is. Everyone asks the same question: " Well what is it that you like or that you want to do?" .... I can't even answer that question. Is that pathetic? I know my current job is a good one, and that there are so many reasons why I should stay... but in my heart, I feel like there is something out there that I'm meant to do. I've always said that I wanted to have a career that was rewarding... and not in the way of material things, but in the way that I can come home each day and rest assured that I've made a difference somewhere. I've gone back & forth with the idea of maybe becoming a nurse, or a social worker. I know that they're not easy jobs to assume but I'd be willing to work hard at what I do. For so long, I was set on becoming a Medical Secretary and staying on the "other side" of the desk, but now I'm not so sure that I'd be content in that position. I wish I could go to a life coach or something. I know that no one can really sit down and say "Dawn, this is what you want to do"... I just need help figuring it out I guess. I'm going to be 32 in April, and it's totally unacceptable to me, to be in this "place" in my life. I find comfort, sort of, knowing that I'm not the only person in this rut.. but that doesn't make it any less of a worry. I honestly don't know where to begin to figure it out. I keep remembering Father O'Donnell stressing that God put us all here for a reason and I believe that I have a "task" or a purpose, (better words)... Maybe if I pray to God and ask Him to show me, I'll receive my answers. Whether it will be a piece of mail that comes or some other message I receive.
I just don't like the uncertainty of not knowing what I want to do with the rest of my life, career wise... But I am determined to figure that out.
Yick, what a boring & blubbering blog...!! But I feel much better now that I've got it off my chest!