Snowed in

Well, not really... It's all melting and hopefully not icing up.
Maya (my niece) and I are spending the day together... Not been real productive as of yet.. she is tired as heck, so as soon as she goes down for a nap, I'm getting my cleaning on! Have a ton of laundry to do and lots of straightening.

Went and shoveled the walk this morning and was quite annoyed that one of our lovely neighbors shoveled the whole sidewalk from the corner to a few inches before our doorstep.. that was pretty shitty. They made sure that they cleared all of the 3 other neighbors walks and stopped RIGHT at ours. I can't figure people out sometimes and I have no idea why they would do that... but, WHATEVER!
So, since I know which neighbor had a hand in it, my revenge is to not patronage their little coffee shop anymore. It'll make me feel better! lol

Not blogging much - Just checking in since I haven't in a few days.
Still keeping up with Nate's blog.. and it looks like things are progressing, slowly but well. Still praying for them each night. I included several people in my prayers last night... more than usual. Prayed for Amy and her family to settle nicely in their new home. I wish them lots of love and new memories in thier new place.

I just learned that My Chemical Romance is coming in May and I have to go! I have been waiting to see them again since the last time I saw at what I think was the Warped Tour. They're awesome. Tickets are on sale on Saturday @ 10 so I'll be sitting here at the computer ready to take aim when they release them!

Well, I think I smell a strange but familiar scent coming from Miss Maya so I'm off to assume my Auntly Duties ..(since she assumed her "dooties"...)

Have a Nice Weekend!

Doing the Bump!

One of the snazzy things I learned on Blogger, is the cool art of "bumping"...
If you don't know what that means, it just means that I'm taking an earlier post from my blog and bumping it to the top... to bring it to light.

So I decided to bump this entry that I posted in February of '06.
It was actually a follow up to a post from the month before (January of '06)

I know that Shannon, my friend whom I refer to in it, reads my blog regularly but only as of recently ...

Shannon: I know you read my blog often but I didn't know if you'd ventured into the archives and saw this one.


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

well, I said in an earlier post in January, that I hoped I could meet back up with some long lost friends from high school. Turns out I did just that. And it happened to be the one person in particular that I really wanted to get in touch with. Only about a month ago, our class president and some other members of the committee, started contacting the Class of 1994- through Classmates.com -- Our president created a website of his own so that we didn't have to use Classmates and we were all able to go on there and post forums and such-- and leave our email addresses if we so desired.. Well I am so glad that I posted mine, because that is how my long lost friend Shannon got in touch with me. She emailed me and then eventually we talked on the phone. It was so nice to talk to her after 12 long years! It felt like we hadn't missed all that time, but we did. I sure missed her, and I had mentioned to my sister a short while ago that if I wanted to reconnect with anyone, it would be Shannon. We were really good friends in high school- the later years. And I'm not sure how we got so close but we just clicked. I've been really down lately wondering how to catch up with old friends and seem like a whacko, since we hadn't talked in forever and then I'm popping up in an email or a letter to their home. So this has sure brought me some contentment. We both said that we should not lose touch this time and I hope we don't. It's really never too late to catch up. It will take a lot of catching up, I'm sure. But for the most part, we covered the basics already.

Giving it to God

I'm so content this morning...

Each night when I go to bed, I say my prayers, and often include a request for someone else other than the usual: friends and family. Last night I prayed for someone who has been really hurtful to someone I love. I asked God to guide her to a more positive way of life and to lead her to happiness & contentment in her life. I tend to think she acts the way she does and treats people so terribly, because of all the negatives in her life. I could be wrong. But in any case, I'm proud of myself that I was able to turn my anger/animosity into a positive. I gave it to God and I feel better about not "hating" her but choosing to ask God to bless her.

Looking for my place

If you haven't noticed; I have background music on my blog now... and usually I choose a song that goes along with the theme of "life". This time around I chose a song that was a good soundtrack to how I've been feeling lately.

I'm struggling to find lately; what exactly it is that I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I feel so lost these days & I can't figure out what I want out of this life.
I KNOW that I want to go back to school and I KNOW that I want to do something with my life that defines me.. but I just don't know what it is. Everyone asks the same question: " Well what is it that you like or that you want to do?" .... I can't even answer that question. Is that pathetic? I know my current job is a good one, and that there are so many reasons why I should stay... but in my heart, I feel like there is something out there that I'm meant to do. I've always said that I wanted to have a career that was rewarding... and not in the way of material things, but in the way that I can come home each day and rest assured that I've made a difference somewhere. I've gone back & forth with the idea of maybe becoming a nurse, or a social worker. I know that they're not easy jobs to assume but I'd be willing to work hard at what I do. For so long, I was set on becoming a Medical Secretary and staying on the "other side" of the desk, but now I'm not so sure that I'd be content in that position. I wish I could go to a life coach or something. I know that no one can really sit down and say "Dawn, this is what you want to do"... I just need help figuring it out I guess. I'm going to be 32 in April, and it's totally unacceptable to me, to be in this "place" in my life. I find comfort, sort of, knowing that I'm not the only person in this rut.. but that doesn't make it any less of a worry. I honestly don't know where to begin to figure it out. I keep remembering Father O'Donnell stressing that God put us all here for a reason and I believe that I have a "task" or a purpose, (better words)... Maybe if I pray to God and ask Him to show me, I'll receive my answers. Whether it will be a piece of mail that comes or some other message I receive.
I just don't like the uncertainty of not knowing what I want to do with the rest of my life, career wise... But I am determined to figure that out.


Yick, what a boring & blubbering blog...!! But I feel much better now that I've got it off my chest!

Calgon take me away

I've been trying to plan our vacation for this year. Jeff and I are both taking a full week (I get 10 days, he gets 5) ... and we're definitely set on going away. Not just taking a day trip here or there, but we want to actually go somewhere. I can honestly say that I haven't been on a vacation in ages! I've done a couple days at the shore here and there but never actually went somewhere other than that.
I ordered a Tennesee visitors' guide last year and then I just got a Virginia visitors/vacation guide in the mail. We've been leaning towards maybe going somewhere in VA, but I'm still researching and trying to figure out where exactly we want to land and what we'll do. There are several places that spark my interest. Jeff really likes the history side of what VA has to offer. He would really like the Civil War attractions. I know I have to get it planned soon so we can reserve a place to stay. I figure we'll go for a few days and then use the other 2 to either take a day trip or just be lazy and hang around locally.
I'll continue to work on making the plans and setting up the itinerary... for some odd reason, Jeff lets me do that part!

Trying to catch up

I haven't posted since Sunday! What is the deal!?
This is why I need a laptop. I get so paranoid at work that people are always looking over my shoulder or walking by and seeing my screen, so I rarely blog at work. This sucks the most because it's always during the day that my thoughts are the "freshest".. Oh well, I'll just have to try and remember things.
While it's fresh on my mind, I was excited to learn last night that Renee is coming 'home' for a visit! Already put in for a vacation day at work. So that way I'll have 3 days off... so we're getting our thoughts together and figuring out what to do. Probably a night at the casinos. Moreso to go out on the town, not so much for gambling. Neither of us are big into gambling, and I know for me at least, I usually stop at $40 and on a rare occassion have gone an extra $20. I don't know why I'm thinking it, but I think Renee hasn't been home in 2 years. I remember for my 30th birthday she was here but I don't remember after that. In any case, I'm glad she's coming - I'm looking forward to spending time with her. We've been friend since Kindergarten. Can you imagine a friendship spanning that many years already.. To think that when we're 60, we'll be saying the same thing! lol

In other news, I hope this day's over soon and even better when the week is!
I'm pissed off today and it involves work so I need to get out of here.

The weekend? You mean It's over?!

Kinda bummed that I didn't make my weight watchers weigh in on Friday. Slept in a little and then went to Olde City with my two favorite girls! Maya had her first ride on the train.(Speedline)... it was really cute. I think she liked it. I only say "think" because she didn't really express her feelings about it either way. It was way too cute how she held onto the seat in front of her.. we got pics! I'll post as soon as I can get them on the computer. We went into Olde City to get lunch at Pizzicato (Yum! Our fav place) and then we went into the Constitution Center Gift Shop to get Maya a souvenir of her first trip to Philly! We even made one of those cool pennies in that nifty machine that they have where the penny comes out all stretched?? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

Saturday was a lazy day for me... Well, not lazy, but I did nothing but wash pretty much. I ran to the deli and got some cold cuts for lunch and concentrated on getting the mountainous load of laundry done. Jeff and I went to Chester (casino) on Saturday night -- I was winning. Not much. But I came home with nothing. I was up $45 on a penny machine, which wasn't bad.. last time I was at $75 which is even better!
So yes, back to work. I've laughed a lot today. I don't know if I'm just tired and giddy or what, but I've been really releasing some endorphins today! Good for me.

Following up

Just following up on my previous post about my dream. I know, if you read that post, that you probably were very curious to hear about it. So first I'll tell you that, lately (more so now than ever), I've been putting a lot of thought into the idea of my never having children. I think the dream came about as a result of me talking to my friend Renee about it. We were discussing "things" and she asked if I could even have children, based on what I was telling her. The answer, I suppose, is not a simple NO. With all of today's alternatives for conception, I'd be lying if I said I "couldn't" have children. Can I have them naturally? That would be a simple NO. My OB-GYN and I have discussed it, not at great lengths I'll admit.. but she had said if I did want to get pregnant someday, she'd refer me to a specialist who deals with fertility and all that good stuff. Evidently, I'm not equipped. I haven't gotten to the bottom of what it exactly is that I'm "lacking" per se, but the bottom line is that something is not working or producing correctly. While I can't remember the entire place or subject of the dream, what I do remember so vividly about the dream is that I was sobbing and "begging" God to please give me a child. It was so sad in the dream, I can still see my face. Talk about sadness. I guess maybe as my 32nd birthday nears, I've had the tendency to dwell on the issue a little more. I've always wanted to be a mother.. but in my heart of hearts, even when I was younger and had none of these female issues, I had the strongest feeling that I wouldn't ever have children. I thought back then, that I was just going through the old "too good to be true" phase but now I wonder if I just knew something. I don't talk about it much, other than with my closest friends and Jeff, but it does in fact bother me. Depresses me even. I've always felt like I have what it takes to be a mom, everyone tells me that I do. But I know it. It's the one thing that I'm confident in, if nothing else. I've always wanted that bond, and that love that comes along with a child. I think about all the things I'll never experience. Childbirth, birthdays, school days, and just your every memories. A miniature me.. a little boy or girl that looks just like me or just like his/her daddy. Scrapbooks, lockets of hair, fingerprints/footprints, someone calling me "Mommy", Cheerios invading the floors of my car......
Jeff can say what he wants, but I know that he always thought about children before I came along, and probably had every intention/dream of being a father one day. Not that I should worry about it, but sometimes I wonder if others wonder why I haven't had any children, or if I don't want children, etc.. etc.. If they only knew.

I wonder if they see the car seat in my car and figure that I've got kids...


I often say that if I won the lottery, the first thing I'd do is adopt a child. Well, after I bought a big ass house! lol
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me - These are just my very personal thoughts on a very personal issue. And it's been eating at me for some time.
Then, Jeff was talking to his friend's wife the other day and when he told her we'd been together 7 yrs almost, she said "Wow! You two need to have kids!"....
If she only knew.

What the hell did I eat going to bed!!??

Had such a peculiar dream last.. Not really up to posting all the details right now but I will. This will serve as a reminder when I see this post again.

It might even have been borderline dream/nightmare. And as with any dream, when I awoke, I tried to figure out what thoughts or events led to that dream - I remembered soon after searching my mind.

****************************************************************

I'm disappointed that I didn't post yesterday! I had so many thoughts racing through my mind yesterday - what better time to blog! But I was so busy at work I just didn't get a minute to do it. This is why I need a laptop. I can write on my breaks/lunch hour at work, I could write while I'm sitting in bed at night. Now I can hardly remember ALL of what I wanted to post yesterday - of course one of the subjects that stands out, is the one that brought on that very strange dream. I guess it wasn't "strange" per se, but it was deep. If that makes any sense.

Well, back to work for me. I'm over the hump! Thursday can not get here and over soon enough. Tomorrow, I'm doing movies & dinner with a friend from work. That's always a nice release. Boy, can we women talk forever!

Weight Loss Ticker

This post is strictly for Weight Loss updates...



Feel free to post comments... this is where I'll keep track!

Life is precious.......

I posted this link on MySpace and forgot to put it in here...

If you have already heard about Nate's blog, then you know all about Baby Gwyneth.... If not, copy the link and get to know Nate, Tricia & Gwyneth.

I'm calling special attention to the video he posted of him holding his baby girl .... for what was the real first time!

It's not like the tears that you cry when you watch a sappy love story; this is REAL LIFE and it's the most endearing thing I have probably ever witnessed.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Carl Sandburg:
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.

First Flyers Game!

Jeff and I went to the Flyers game last night. It was my first.

We had 3 Box Club or (Club Box) tickets that his brother-in-law offered us, so that was really nice! Jeff's been wanting to go to a game - he's a big fan. We ended up taking his dad and I think he enjoyed the game too!

It was pretty neat.. not as exciting as football ( I went to my first f/b game with my sister in December). I liked the idea that with these seats, there is a bar right behind you and you have your own "room" and bathroom, and they even have servers. The walk up to our seats on the Club Level was crazy! We passed all of these delectable food and dessert carts! It was like a fancy hotel on this floor. We passed all these box seats and suites.. it was like something out of a movie!
Once you turn your order in for food, they bring it to your seat. But I have to say that the food was less than desirable - which really aggravates me considering the prices! And on top of it, they were ice cold!
We paid $21 for 2 hot dogs and a cheeseburger. The "jumbo" dogs came with nothing that they were supposed to.. But I didn't bother giving the server any grief over it... It was a nice time all in all & Jeff ended up getting a nice Flyers shirt for $25 which I thought was pretty good...

Just when we were having fun and enjoying the game -- they showed a video of this family whose little boy was being honored and given a Flyers Jersey. Evidently, they have (or had- and I use that term lightly) 3 children. One of their 2 sons was diagnosed with an unknown immune system disorder and sadly he died... now the 2nd son has it as well and is going or has gone blind.
It was so sad ... they introduced them and then after the video they put them on camera and presented the jersey to them.. the little boy came out with a surgical mask on .. So to prevent germs etc.. How precious he was.. but it just wrenched my heart out to hear their story and see them there with this precious little angel.
I didn't know how to get back in the swing of all the excitement after that!
I was saying to Jeff that it was so ironic that both boys had been diagnosed with the disease but I wondered aloud why the little girl hadn't. Jeff turned around to me in his most serious face/tone and said "Well, just thank God that she wasn't".
I can't imagine how they dealt with losing a child the first time and I pray that they don't have to go through it again.

I did it -- AGAIN

Finally went and joined Weight Watchers (again). I went during the open hours, so I got to just go in, pay my "first meeting" fee and get weighed in.

I weighed in at 176. (Yes, unlike most women, I have no qualms telling you all how much I weigh! lol) I figure it's no big secret.. you can see me by looking at me anyway.
So I'm at 17% my target weight... which should be about 145. It shouldn't be so hard cause God knows it's easy to GAIN that much but it's much harder to lose!

So anyway, I'm giving it another go and I hope to reach my goal weight this time.
I'll add even add a ticker so I can update it each week!



(this is the ticker - but I'll create a post all it's own so I can update from there each week)

If you are looking to lose weight - I definitely recommend Weight Watchers.. I was vert satisfied when I went before... The meetings are your support system and they really are what keeps me interested. I know a few people who have gone the WW way and they look great! Yay, Carol!!

So I'll keep you up to date on things and progress.
I hope to be able to use this one soon:
Wish me luck!!